WEBVTT 00:00.400 --> 00:04.433 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 00:06.633 --> 00:08.566 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% [ Birds chirping ] 00:21.900 --> 00:25.266 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% -This was 11 years ago, I made this. 00:25.266 --> 00:28.200 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% -Yeah, I remember that. 00:28.200 --> 00:30.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% A beautiful beginning the way you started off like that. 00:30.933 --> 00:32.700 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% -Yeah, the colors of the flowers, my mama. 00:35.500 --> 00:37.800 align:left position:32.5% line:5% size:57.5% -Tell me about this trailer, Mom. 00:37.800 --> 00:39.200 align:left position:25% line:5% size:65% When did you get it? 00:39.200 --> 00:41.366 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% -We got the trailer in 1994. 00:41.366 --> 00:43.133 align:left position:37.5% line:83% size:52.5% -Oh, '94. -Yeah. 00:43.133 --> 00:44.866 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% It's legally ours. 00:44.866 --> 00:47.233 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% The metal's deteriorating. 00:47.233 --> 00:50.766 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% You know, then the siding, the roof needs a whole new roof. 00:50.766 --> 00:56.100 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 00:56.100 --> 00:57.900 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I grew up in Brooklyn. 00:57.900 --> 00:59.233 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% -Mean the Bronx. 00:59.233 --> 01:02.833 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% But we came down here because your niece got shot. 01:02.833 --> 01:06.033 align:left position:30% line:5% size:60% -No, we got -- Makia got shot way before that. 01:06.033 --> 01:10.300 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% We just wanted to visit and we liked it and we were safe. 01:10.300 --> 01:11.933 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% A nice place to raise kids. 01:11.933 --> 01:15.833 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% -I like it because, for you, it was pretty safe for you. 01:17.066 --> 01:19.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% -We have gone through a lot of health crisis 01:19.133 --> 01:21.333 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% with him and stuff like that, 01:21.333 --> 01:23.133 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% but we have accomplished a mobile home. 01:23.133 --> 01:25.866 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Three brand-new cars paid off. 01:25.866 --> 01:29.533 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% One, your dad crashed 'cause he had low sugar. 01:29.533 --> 01:31.300 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% How many people could say that they have 01:31.300 --> 01:32.833 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% done that in their time? 01:32.833 --> 01:35.100 align:left position:40% line:83% size:50% Not many. -What? Crash a car? 01:35.100 --> 01:36.333 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% -No, not crash a car. 01:36.333 --> 01:38.000 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% [ Laughter ] 01:38.000 --> 01:39.533 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% That's true, right? It went right into that. 01:39.533 --> 01:41.866 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% That's a good one, honey. No, I didn't mean that. 01:43.233 --> 01:45.100 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% The robe looks kind of funny, David. 01:45.100 --> 01:47.100 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I got a brand-new one in blue. Let me get it. 01:47.100 --> 01:48.900 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% -You look good the way you are. -No, this one looks ugly. 01:48.900 --> 01:50.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Look at all the bumps and it shows. 01:50.700 --> 01:51.966 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% People gonna say I look horrible. 01:51.966 --> 01:53.900 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% Wait. Okay? 01:53.900 --> 01:56.100 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% -Does that look better now? The robe? 01:56.100 --> 01:57.000 align:left position:42.5% line:89% size:47.5% -Yes. 01:57.000 --> 02:01.733 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% It was in 1981, almost '82. 02:01.733 --> 02:03.266 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% '81, we worked together. 02:03.266 --> 02:05.233 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% It was called the Federation of the Handicap. 02:05.233 --> 02:07.433 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% And then we got married in 1994. 02:07.433 --> 02:09.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% While we were getting married, we had to rush him 02:09.300 --> 02:12.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to the emergency room the same night. 02:12.700 --> 02:15.000 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% -Boy, we hated that thing. 02:16.600 --> 02:19.300 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% The first visit at the kidney center. 02:22.933 --> 02:24.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I thank God that I have a wife. 02:24.966 --> 02:26.633 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% She take good care of me. 02:26.633 --> 02:29.166 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% [ Monitor beeping ] 02:32.300 --> 02:33.900 align:left position:45% line:89% size:45% Ow. 02:33.900 --> 02:36.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Yeah, that hurts right there. 02:36.766 --> 02:38.833 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I need a lollipop. 02:38.833 --> 02:42.000 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% -You need a lollipop? 02:42.000 --> 02:44.833 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% -My hands hurt me. 02:44.833 --> 02:46.566 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% -What's wrong with your hands? 02:46.566 --> 02:48.133 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% -Nerve damage. 02:48.133 --> 02:52.266 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Feels like needles sticking in my hands, 02:52.266 --> 02:54.366 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% a lot of needles. 02:54.366 --> 02:57.266 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% Then my hands begin to feel like it's on fire. 02:57.266 --> 03:04.966 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 03:04.966 --> 03:06.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% -My knee replacement, October 2nd, 03:06.933 --> 03:08.600 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I had a knee replacement 03:08.600 --> 03:10.100 align:left position:32.5% line:83% size:57.5% and then I had a hip replacement. 03:10.100 --> 03:11.966 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I got two of them. 03:11.966 --> 03:13.100 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% Yeah, it's painful, 03:13.100 --> 03:14.966 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% but I mentally have to get myself better 03:14.966 --> 03:17.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% because I have other people that depend on me, 03:17.000 --> 03:19.800 align:left position:32.5% line:83% size:57.5% like my husband and my mom, my dad. 03:22.333 --> 03:23.966 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I remember in 2004, 03:23.966 --> 03:27.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% when my husband was really, really ill, 03:27.200 --> 03:31.266 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% I seen my husband cringing like this, 03:31.266 --> 03:33.900 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% like this, like this with his hand -- palm. 03:33.900 --> 03:36.933 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% But he was, like, in a state like this, really quiet. 03:36.933 --> 03:40.366 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% And I seen he was really stiff, and I tried to call out to him 03:40.366 --> 03:42.800 align:left position:35% line:83% size:55% and I see him sweating profusely. 03:46.466 --> 03:48.066 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I tried to pick him up, 03:48.066 --> 03:51.700 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% but I couldn't pick him up and he fell. 03:51.700 --> 04:01.000 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 04:01.000 --> 04:02.333 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% -My experience of death 04:02.333 --> 04:06.700 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% was that I felt myself floating in a fetal position. 04:06.700 --> 04:08.566 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% That's how I felt, just floating. 04:08.566 --> 04:10.200 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% It felt so good. 04:10.200 --> 04:12.700 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And then all of a sudden, I felt like being pulled. 04:16.266 --> 04:18.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Have you ever felt -- Have you ever done this -- 04:18.300 --> 04:20.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% stood beside your bed and just went back. 04:20.200 --> 04:21.566 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% You ever done that? -Yeah. 04:21.566 --> 04:24.900 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% -That's the same way I felt going back into my body. 04:24.900 --> 04:28.200 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% That's when Mommy -- Thank God Mommy was there. 04:28.200 --> 04:29.900 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% If not, I would've died. 04:33.600 --> 04:36.233 align:left position:37.5% line:83% size:52.5% After that, I just wanted to live. 04:36.233 --> 04:40.133 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% [ Soft piano music playing ] 04:40.133 --> 04:48.533 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 04:48.533 --> 04:50.600 align:left position:27.5% line:5% size:62.5% [ Groans in pain ] 04:52.000 --> 04:54.433 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% -Ooh, you sweating, honey. Let me get you a blanket. 04:54.433 --> 04:58.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Let me get you a towel. Let me get him a towel. 04:58.300 --> 05:02.400 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% You know, last few years weren't easy for him 05:02.400 --> 05:05.800 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% nor I as a wife, because the way I loved him, 05:05.800 --> 05:09.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I couldn't, you know, help ease the pain. 05:09.800 --> 05:12.200 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% -[ Groans in pain ] 05:14.233 --> 05:16.266 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I don't feel good. 05:16.266 --> 05:18.433 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% -You gotta keep eating. Eat some of this. 05:18.433 --> 05:20.000 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% -Give me more. 05:20.000 --> 05:22.466 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% -Pop it in his mouth, baby. 05:22.466 --> 05:24.066 align:left position:32.5% line:83% size:57.5% Don't let him just pop it in there. 05:24.066 --> 05:25.366 align:left position:42.5% line:89% size:47.5% -What? 05:25.366 --> 05:26.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% -Shove it in his mouth 'cause he needs a lot of sugar. 05:26.933 --> 05:29.800 align:left position:35% line:83% size:55% It's at 75. Open the mouth. 05:29.800 --> 05:32.800 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% -Open your mouth. 05:35.700 --> 05:39.733 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% -I know one day, I'm gonna pass away, 05:39.733 --> 05:41.000 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% but I wanna do it here. 05:41.000 --> 05:43.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Do not wanna do it in dialysis. 05:45.833 --> 05:48.333 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% -Just a sick guy, but he pushed through. 05:48.333 --> 05:49.333 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% That's why he was a warrior. 05:49.333 --> 05:52.700 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I say that the word "fighter," 05:52.700 --> 05:54.466 align:left position:32.5% line:83% size:57.5% his name should go right underneath 05:54.466 --> 05:56.766 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% because he fought until the end, 05:56.766 --> 05:59.533 align:left position:35% line:83% size:55% but his body just couldn't take it no more. 05:59.533 --> 06:02.566 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% And I had to call hospice. 06:02.566 --> 06:05.100 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% -And when he passed away, I felt this feeling 06:05.100 --> 06:08.333 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% of, like, sadness, a little bit of happiness. 06:08.333 --> 06:09.733 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% That's maybe not the best word to use 06:09.733 --> 06:13.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% but happiness that he didn't have to endure a life 06:13.133 --> 06:15.166 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% that was just gonna get worse and worse. 06:15.166 --> 06:16.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% There's nothing that you or I 06:16.933 --> 06:19.200 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% or even the doctors could do to make -- 06:19.200 --> 06:24.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% -I know, but it's just, the memories are so intense. 06:24.700 --> 06:26.333 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I yearn for his voice. 06:26.333 --> 06:29.733 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And even though he didn't have a lot of quality of life, 06:29.733 --> 06:33.666 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% just knowing he was in the house was enough for me. 06:33.666 --> 06:35.933 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% And I don't have that. 06:35.933 --> 06:39.566 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% 38 years of good memories, sad memories, 06:39.566 --> 06:41.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and, you know, rough memories. 06:41.100 --> 06:46.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But...we did the best with what we had and, you know, 06:46.733 --> 06:50.333 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% he died with you holding his head and me 06:50.333 --> 06:51.533 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% like I promised it, 06:51.533 --> 06:56.633 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% so I know I did the best I could as a wife. 06:56.633 --> 06:58.166 align:left position:42.5% line:83% size:47.5% -Yeah. -That's the sad part 06:58.166 --> 06:59.366 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% about this pandemic 06:59.366 --> 07:01.200 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% that all these people -- 07:01.200 --> 07:03.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% fathers, grandfathers, mothers -- 07:03.733 --> 07:07.733 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% they die with the nurses, but they're not family. 07:07.733 --> 07:12.033 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% And I'm so grateful and blessed that I had that. 07:12.033 --> 07:17.100 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% So on May 24th, even though it devastated my life, 07:17.100 --> 07:20.100 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I still find comfort that at least 07:20.100 --> 07:21.400 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I said my goodbyes, 07:21.400 --> 07:23.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and he was here with me till the end. 07:23.166 --> 07:31.733 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 07:31.733 --> 07:40.300 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 07:40.300 --> 07:48.866 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 07:48.866 --> 07:52.600 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% -I'm one of the luckiest guys to have a woman -- 07:52.600 --> 07:53.766 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% -Listen. Shh. 07:53.766 --> 07:55.733 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% -Okay, I am. 07:55.733 --> 07:57.966 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% Don't be jealous, guys. 07:57.966 --> 08:00.166 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% To have a beautiful woman at heart. 08:00.166 --> 08:04.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% She's always been there by my side. 08:04.500 --> 08:08.466 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% She been a pain in the ass sometimes, but she's my heart. 08:08.466 --> 08:11.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% And she is my rock and I love you forever. 08:11.500 --> 08:21.000 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 08:21.000 --> 08:30.500 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 08:30.500 --> 08:32.666 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 08:32.666 --> 08:34.933 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% [ Birds chirping ] 08:34.933 --> 08:37.833 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% [ Clock ticking ] 08:40.633 --> 08:50.633 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 08:50.633 --> 09:00.700 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 09:00.700 --> 09:07.233 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪ 09:09.966 --> 09:14.000 align:left position:47.5% line:5% size:42.5% ♪♪