WEBVTT 00:00.366 --> 00:01.400 align:left position:35% line:5% size:55% (soft music) 00:01.400 --> 00:03.400 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - Why do we need to talk about race in medicine? 00:03.400 --> 00:04.900 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - Why talk about race? 00:04.900 --> 00:06.400 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% - That's a great question. 00:06.400 --> 00:08.400 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - It's really important to talk about race. 00:08.400 --> 00:09.800 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - How can we not? 00:09.800 --> 00:12.600 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - Race and racism are critical determinants of health. 00:12.600 --> 00:15.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Racism directly impacts the care 00:15.166 --> 00:16.633 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% that our patients receive. 00:16.633 --> 00:19.400 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - Race is sort of the fable of how we've created 00:19.400 --> 00:20.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% who has and who doesn't have. 00:20.933 --> 00:22.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Probably the biggest reason that I see 00:22.500 --> 00:25.333 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% is just all the disparities in healthcare. 00:25.333 --> 00:29.566 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - The mission of medicine is to provide medical care 00:29.566 --> 00:32.733 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% for everyone, no matter what the lottery of their birth is. 00:32.733 --> 00:34.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - If we're really about health, then we have to pay 00:34.933 --> 00:36.500 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% attention to the whole person. 00:36.500 --> 00:40.900 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - As a cis white woman, I have to name how I show up 00:40.900 --> 00:44.000 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% in the world in relationship to my patients 00:44.000 --> 00:45.733 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% who don't have the same experience. 00:45.733 --> 00:47.833 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - We wouldn't do it if we didn't do it by intention. 00:47.833 --> 00:51.100 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - We need everyone's perspective to come together. 00:51.100 --> 00:55.000 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - This country was built on the backs of enslaved people, 00:55.000 --> 00:58.833 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and we are still dealing with all of the repercussions 00:58.833 --> 01:00.300 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and all of the trauma. 01:00.300 --> 01:03.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - Medicine actually hasn't traditionally done a great job 01:03.300 --> 01:06.300 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% of understanding people's experience of race 01:06.300 --> 01:08.066 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% in a really racialized society. 01:08.066 --> 01:09.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - It is important to call it out. 01:09.900 --> 01:11.733 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% - We need patients to be able to feel 01:11.733 --> 01:13.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% a connection with their physicians. 01:13.566 --> 01:15.333 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - It's not just who someone is, 01:15.333 --> 01:16.966 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% but it's how they're treated by others 01:16.966 --> 01:18.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% in their experience in the world. 01:18.700 --> 01:20.366 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% - There needs to be a safe space. 01:28.200 --> 01:29.800 align:left position:27.5% line:5% size:62.5% - [Announcer] This program is funded 01:29.800 --> 01:31.666 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% by the Center for the Art of Medicine 01:31.666 --> 01:34.533 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% at the University of Minnesota Medical School, 01:34.533 --> 01:37.633 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and dedicated to all the untold stories. 01:39.466 --> 01:42.733 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% (gentle uplifting music) 01:42.733 --> 01:43.566 align:left position:37.5% line:5% size:52.5% - Welcome. 01:43.566 --> 01:45.200 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% I'm Dr. Jon Hallberg. 01:45.200 --> 01:47.500 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% - And I'm Dr. Tseganesh Selameab. 01:47.500 --> 01:49.800 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% There are very few things that are more difficult 01:49.800 --> 01:51.333 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% to talk about than race. 01:51.333 --> 01:54.533 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% We may be used to having intimate, deeply personal 01:54.533 --> 01:57.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% conversations, but when it comes to race, 01:57.733 --> 02:01.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% we often find ourselves tongue-tied and awkward, 02:01.366 --> 02:04.633 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% mired in self-doubt, and weighed down with the heaviness 02:04.633 --> 02:06.066 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% of this topic. 02:06.066 --> 02:09.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% So not knowing where to start, we often choose inaction 02:09.533 --> 02:13.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and safety, or politely skirting around the issues. 02:13.300 --> 02:15.466 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% - But we know this has to change. 02:15.466 --> 02:17.466 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% We all need to talk about race, 02:17.466 --> 02:18.866 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and we'll make mistakes. 02:18.866 --> 02:21.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Exactly, and it's okay to make them. 02:21.533 --> 02:23.133 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% That's actually part of this journey 02:23.133 --> 02:24.366 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% that we're on together. 02:24.366 --> 02:25.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - When faced with uncertainty, 02:25.933 --> 02:28.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% we turn to our friends and colleagues 02:28.033 --> 02:30.433 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and ask them to tell us their stories. 02:30.433 --> 02:34.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Stories invite us in, expand our experience, 02:34.033 --> 02:36.366 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and surprise us with truths and joys 02:36.366 --> 02:38.200 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% we may have otherwise missed. 02:38.200 --> 02:42.466 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - This show is an invitation to settle in and listen. 02:42.466 --> 02:45.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% We start with the stories of Drs. David Hamlar 02:45.366 --> 02:47.466 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and Blanche Chavers, both leaders 02:47.466 --> 02:48.866 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% in their fields of medicine. 02:50.933 --> 02:53.400 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% (bright uplifting music) 02:53.400 --> 02:56.400 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% - I grew up in Clarksdale, Mississippi, 02:56.400 --> 03:01.166 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% which is a small town in the Mississippi Delta. 03:01.166 --> 03:03.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Healthcare was very segregated. 03:03.266 --> 03:05.600 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - And I grew up in an inner city neighborhood. 03:07.100 --> 03:10.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Then the neighborhood was your village, 03:10.266 --> 03:13.766 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% and in that village there were people you could model after. 03:13.766 --> 03:16.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I was very lucky my dad was a dentist. 03:16.766 --> 03:18.833 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Something my father told me, he would say 03:18.833 --> 03:22.333 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% never say never, never say should have or could have. 03:22.333 --> 03:24.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% If you want to pursue something, do it. 03:24.366 --> 03:26.133 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - I wanted to become a physician 03:26.133 --> 03:30.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% because of two serious life events 03:30.466 --> 03:32.200 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I had as a child. 03:32.200 --> 03:35.433 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% We had one Black physician who took care of me 03:35.433 --> 03:37.166 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% during both of my episodes. 03:37.166 --> 03:40.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Following that, I decided I'd like to become a physician 03:40.533 --> 03:43.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and be able to hopefully save lives. 03:45.366 --> 03:50.333 align:left position:25% line:5% size:65% So I started medical school in 1971. 03:51.100 --> 03:52.933 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% There were 19 women. 03:52.933 --> 03:55.466 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% There were four African-American students, 03:55.466 --> 03:58.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and one Native American student. 03:58.266 --> 04:01.066 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - When I was younger and people would walk in the room, 04:01.066 --> 04:04.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and they would go wow, you're my doctor? 04:04.500 --> 04:06.033 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% It'd be that shock. 04:06.033 --> 04:09.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - There were four percent African-American students 04:09.366 --> 04:11.866 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% in my medical school class. 04:11.866 --> 04:14.733 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% There are approximately four percent African-American 04:14.733 --> 04:17.500 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% students in the incoming class 04:17.500 --> 04:19.933 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% at the University of Minnesota. 04:19.933 --> 04:22.833 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - There are actually more African-American men, 04:22.833 --> 04:26.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% specifically, in medical school during the 70s 04:26.333 --> 04:29.433 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% than the late 80s and even going into the 2000s. 04:29.433 --> 04:32.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% So you actually saw a decline in the number 04:32.666 --> 04:34.733 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% of Black medical students. 04:34.733 --> 04:38.266 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% - Progress has been very slow. 04:38.266 --> 04:43.266 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% We were rounding one day on a Native American patient 04:44.700 --> 04:47.600 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% who had just been diagnosed with a severe kidney disease. 04:47.600 --> 04:50.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And one of the senior physicians said 04:50.233 --> 04:54.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I think this is a lost cause because I don't expect 04:54.400 --> 04:57.566 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% this patient to take the medication that we prescribe. 04:57.566 --> 05:01.933 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And I spoke up and said the senior attending 05:01.933 --> 05:04.066 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% had just prejudged this patient. 05:04.066 --> 05:09.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% We all deserve care, and a chance to be successful 05:09.000 --> 05:11.066 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% with our course of treatment. 05:11.066 --> 05:12.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - The greatest medicine in the world, 05:12.500 --> 05:13.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% the greatest research in the world, 05:13.900 --> 05:16.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% doesn't always deliver the best care. 05:18.566 --> 05:20.633 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% And that's what we need to do better. 05:20.633 --> 05:25.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - I would believe that the needle was changing 05:25.333 --> 05:29.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% when I can actually see more People of Color 05:29.566 --> 05:32.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% in all aspects of healthcare. 05:32.766 --> 05:34.466 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% - Right now, I think in this space, 05:34.466 --> 05:37.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% we're so busy talking, we're not looking 05:37.166 --> 05:38.900 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% for those actual items. 05:38.900 --> 05:42.433 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And maybe because of my aging, I'm getting impatient. 05:42.433 --> 05:44.333 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% There's a bigger picture. 05:44.333 --> 05:48.300 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And the bigger picture is how we influence society. 05:48.300 --> 05:51.000 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% How we change policy. 05:51.000 --> 05:53.800 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And that is something that's just as important. 05:53.800 --> 05:55.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - So there's a lot of work to be done, 05:55.400 --> 05:59.733 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% and we need more People of Color entering the field, 05:59.733 --> 06:02.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% because that's how we bring about change. 06:05.466 --> 06:08.833 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - When we talk about race, we have to talk about identity. 06:08.833 --> 06:10.566 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% Who we are as people. 06:10.566 --> 06:13.866 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Our heritage, our family, our culture, 06:13.866 --> 06:14.966 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and our language. 06:16.133 --> 06:18.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - [Producer] Okay, let's start at 50 years ago. 06:20.166 --> 06:21.400 align:left position:32.5% line:5% size:57.5% (bright music) 06:21.400 --> 06:24.500 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% - 50 years ago, my parents left India. 06:24.500 --> 06:26.866 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% They took with them their combined histories, 06:26.866 --> 06:29.966 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% cultures, food, and fears. 06:29.966 --> 06:32.633 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% My father, Ramaiah, was the first in his family 06:32.633 --> 06:34.466 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% to leave the small farming village 06:34.466 --> 06:35.900 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% where my parents grew up. 06:35.900 --> 06:39.800 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% My mother, Vimala, was 17 years old when she left home. 06:39.800 --> 06:41.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And eventually they moved to Michigan 06:41.633 --> 06:43.733 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% where my brother and I were born. 06:43.733 --> 06:45.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I was born early. 06:45.400 --> 06:48.966 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And so I had to stay in a neonatal ICU for several weeks 06:48.966 --> 06:50.633 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% after I was born. 06:50.633 --> 06:53.833 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Because my arrival was unexpectedly abrupt, 06:53.833 --> 06:57.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% my parents had not yet chosen a name for me. 06:57.000 --> 06:59.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% So the nurses called me Baby Boy Muthyala. 07:00.700 --> 07:02.600 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% My parents wanted my grandmother to help 07:02.600 --> 07:05.133 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% choose a name for me, but the phone connection 07:05.133 --> 07:06.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% to her small village was poor, 07:06.766 --> 07:09.900 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and so we couldn't hear from her for days and weeks, 07:09.900 --> 07:11.266 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and this went on and on. 07:12.733 --> 07:14.633 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And the NICU was about a 30 minute drive from our home, 07:14.633 --> 07:17.066 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% so everyday my dad would pile everybody 07:17.066 --> 07:19.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% into the car, drive to the hospital, 07:19.800 --> 07:21.266 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% drop my mom off. 07:21.266 --> 07:23.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% He would take my older brother to school 07:23.566 --> 07:25.700 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% before going to work himself. 07:25.700 --> 07:27.700 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And then after work, he would pick my brother up, 07:27.700 --> 07:29.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and they would go to the hospital, 07:29.200 --> 07:30.766 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% we would all spend time together, 07:30.766 --> 07:33.033 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and my family would return home, 07:33.033 --> 07:35.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% only to just do it again the next day. 07:35.200 --> 07:38.866 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% During this time, my brother, who was very outgoing, 07:38.866 --> 07:41.066 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% made friends with the neonatologist. 07:41.066 --> 07:43.233 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And they would actually go on rounds together. 07:43.233 --> 07:46.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And one day, the neonatologist asked my brother, 07:46.300 --> 07:48.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% does your little brother have a name yet? 07:48.566 --> 07:52.133 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And in classic fashion, he said yes. 07:52.133 --> 07:53.866 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% His name is Brian. 07:53.866 --> 07:56.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And so the next day, when my parents returned 07:56.033 --> 07:58.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to the hospital, written above my crib 07:58.200 --> 08:00.133 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% was the name Brian Muthyala. 08:01.766 --> 08:05.100 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% To this day, no one knows how he came up with it. 08:05.100 --> 08:06.800 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% And my parents, as you could imagine, 08:06.800 --> 08:09.466 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% were a little surprised. 08:09.466 --> 08:12.100 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% But in our traditions, it is considered bad luck 08:12.100 --> 08:15.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% to take a name away from a child once it's given. 08:15.100 --> 08:17.600 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% So eventually, I got old enough, 08:17.600 --> 08:20.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and I was sent home to join my family a Brian, 08:20.500 --> 08:23.800 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% living with Ramaiah, Vimala, and Sharat. 08:23.800 --> 08:25.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% As the son of immigrant parents, 08:25.266 --> 08:29.433 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I often felt torn between cultures, values, and beliefs. 08:29.433 --> 08:31.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Brian could play soccer, go to the mall, 08:31.766 --> 08:34.700 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% play video games, whereas Kirti, my middle name, 08:34.700 --> 08:37.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% was a dutiful son, and who knew just how to act 08:37.933 --> 08:39.666 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% with the aunties and uncles who lived 08:39.666 --> 08:41.366 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% in our small Indian community. 08:42.500 --> 08:44.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% As a teenager, I was grateful that my brother 08:44.966 --> 08:47.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% gave me a name that allowed me to blend in. 08:47.766 --> 08:51.433 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Strangers would see my brown skin, my last name, 08:51.433 --> 08:53.933 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% but my otherness was often less visible 08:53.933 --> 08:55.800 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% because Brian felt so familiar. 08:57.000 --> 09:01.000 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Today, as a doctor, I watch my patients 09:01.000 --> 09:04.666 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% stare wide-eyed at my ID badge after I introduce myself, 09:04.666 --> 09:07.000 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% trying to enunciate Moothealla? 09:08.666 --> 09:10.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And I quickly interrupt them, and I say 09:10.333 --> 09:12.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% you can just call me Dr. Brian. 09:12.266 --> 09:15.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And I often will see the relief wash over their face 09:15.533 --> 09:17.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% as we share a quick smile together. 09:17.700 --> 09:20.566 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I have often reflected on how my life has been simpler 09:20.566 --> 09:23.066 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% because of the mysterious split second decision 09:23.066 --> 09:24.933 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% of a six-year-old brother. 09:24.933 --> 09:27.666 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% But more recently, these thoughts have made me uneasy. 09:28.500 --> 09:30.100 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% Names are important. 09:30.100 --> 09:33.766 align:left position:20% line:77% size:70% And while my name made introductions comfortable for others, 09:33.766 --> 09:37.000 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% it also put me further away from the rich history 09:37.000 --> 09:40.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and traditions that my parents worked so hard to maintain 09:40.200 --> 09:41.433 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% in our family. 09:41.433 --> 09:44.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% So when it came time to name our children, 09:44.500 --> 09:48.266 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% my wife and I intentionally chose traditional Indian names, 09:48.266 --> 09:51.066 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% realizing that they will not have some of the benefits 09:51.066 --> 09:52.666 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% that I had. 09:52.666 --> 09:56.566 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And at times I fear for my two young beautiful kids. 09:56.566 --> 09:59.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% How will I teach them to not be afraid, 09:59.600 --> 10:02.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% shy, or embarrassed of the richness of those 10:02.266 --> 10:04.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% that came before them? 10:04.400 --> 10:07.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I hope I'm as courageous as my parents 10:07.033 --> 10:10.033 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% who braved an unknown world to make a better life 10:10.033 --> 10:11.366 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% for me and Sharat. 10:11.366 --> 10:16.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I hope I can be the parent, son, partner, 10:16.100 --> 10:19.333 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% doctor, friend, and neighbor, 10:19.333 --> 10:21.066 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and live up to the name I was given 10:21.066 --> 10:22.533 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% all those years ago. 10:28.233 --> 10:29.733 align:left position:35% line:5% size:55% (soft music) 10:29.733 --> 10:31.566 align:left position:30% line:5% size:60% - May 2020. 10:31.566 --> 10:34.433 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% Two days after the murder of George Floyd. 10:34.433 --> 10:36.333 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% I am seeing a two-year-old Black patient 10:36.333 --> 10:37.833 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% in my primary care clinic. 10:37.833 --> 10:41.600 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% He's a ball of energy, full of joy and curiosity, 10:41.600 --> 10:44.066 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% not yet aware of the cruel inequalities 10:44.066 --> 10:46.600 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% that will surely shape his life, and already have. 10:47.600 --> 10:48.833 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% My heart breaks for his mother 10:48.833 --> 10:50.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% as she shares with me her fears for him, 10:50.666 --> 10:53.000 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and her hope that by the time he becomes a man, 10:53.000 --> 10:54.433 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% the world will be better. 10:54.433 --> 10:56.666 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I promise his mother that as his doctor 10:56.666 --> 10:59.666 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I will do whatever I can to help him have a better life. 10:59.666 --> 11:03.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And yet this is a promise that I'm not sure how to fulfill 11:04.333 --> 11:06.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and I wonder how she perceives me, 11:06.466 --> 11:09.833 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% sitting there across from her in that cramped exam room. 11:09.833 --> 11:12.666 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Am I an allied underrepresented minority, 11:12.666 --> 11:15.233 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% or as another white person with good intentions, 11:15.233 --> 11:16.900 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% but little understanding of her 11:16.900 --> 11:18.500 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and her son's lived experience? 11:20.100 --> 11:22.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% The truth is, I'm not sure how to answer 11:22.266 --> 11:23.433 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% that question myself. 11:24.300 --> 11:26.100 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I identify as Latina. 11:26.100 --> 11:28.966 align:left position:22.5% line:77% size:67.5% But I've recently been questioning what that means for me. 11:30.900 --> 11:33.266 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% My father's parents immigrated to the United States 11:33.266 --> 11:36.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% from Peru, and my mother identifies as white. 11:37.966 --> 11:39.833 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My younger sister and I are proof 11:39.833 --> 11:41.900 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% that genetics are complicated. 11:41.900 --> 11:44.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Her skin is much darker than mine, 11:44.100 --> 11:47.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and I'm six inches taller than she is. 11:47.300 --> 11:49.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% She looks more "Latina" than I do. 11:50.433 --> 11:52.400 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Recently I've wondered what role 11:52.400 --> 11:55.466 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% our physical appearance played in shaping our lives. 11:55.466 --> 11:58.266 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I realize now that my identity has always been a choice. 11:59.566 --> 12:01.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Our society uses appearance to define race 12:01.400 --> 12:02.800 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and set expectations. 12:02.800 --> 12:05.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My appearance does not tell my whole story, 12:05.233 --> 12:07.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and I find myself consumed by the questions 12:07.133 --> 12:10.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% around my position as a Latina who looks white, 12:10.166 --> 12:12.500 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and in recognizing my privilege, 12:12.500 --> 12:15.166 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I struggle to keep hold of my identity. 12:15.166 --> 12:17.300 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% Do I count as a minority? 12:17.300 --> 12:18.833 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% Am I getting all the perks 12:18.833 --> 12:21.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% without having paid the same price as my peers? 12:22.666 --> 12:24.666 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I grew up with the trauma of racism surrounding me, 12:24.666 --> 12:26.133 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% but not directly touching me. 12:27.333 --> 12:28.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I can still remember the pained expression 12:28.900 --> 12:32.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% on my grandma's face on the day that her car was impounded 12:32.166 --> 12:34.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% after she was pulled over for speeding 12:34.300 --> 12:37.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% on her way to the airport after her brother died. 12:37.133 --> 12:39.000 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% She was flustered and sad 12:39.000 --> 12:42.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and the police officer didn't understand her English. 12:42.300 --> 12:44.366 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% At the time, I could not yet understand 12:44.366 --> 12:46.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% the complexity of her expression, 12:46.466 --> 12:48.466 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and I could only offer a hug. 12:48.466 --> 12:51.133 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Now, I know I should have been angry. 12:52.533 --> 12:55.966 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Angry for her, but also angry that these situations 12:55.966 --> 12:58.966 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% for which my family led to inconvenience and shame, 12:58.966 --> 13:02.366 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% might have cost someone, like my young patient, their life. 13:04.433 --> 13:06.433 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% In learning to recognize my own privilege, 13:06.433 --> 13:09.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I also see the harsh reality of injustice and indifference 13:09.933 --> 13:11.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% based solely on the color one's skin 13:11.766 --> 13:14.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% won't be limited to this generation. 13:14.033 --> 13:15.900 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I think about something as seemingly innate 13:15.900 --> 13:17.366 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% as our last name. 13:17.366 --> 13:19.700 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I take pride in being an Alejos, 13:19.700 --> 13:23.266 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% but also recognize its role in defining my identity. 13:23.266 --> 13:25.866 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% And so I make a promise to myself, 13:25.866 --> 13:28.600 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% to continue putting myself in the humbling position 13:28.600 --> 13:31.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% to ask patients about their experience with racism, 13:31.533 --> 13:33.033 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% their fears for their children, 13:33.033 --> 13:34.533 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and their hopes for the future. 13:34.533 --> 13:36.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My own experience constantly reminds me 13:36.800 --> 13:39.400 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% that race is not simple or straightforward, 13:39.400 --> 13:41.633 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and each person experiences it differently. 13:41.633 --> 13:44.633 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% However, regardless of how I see myself, 13:44.633 --> 13:47.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I know society places me among the privileged. 13:47.200 --> 13:49.466 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% To ignore that is to be part of the problem. 13:53.200 --> 13:54.700 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% (soft music) 13:54.700 --> 13:58.066 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% - I first came to the United States as a 24-year-old. 13:58.066 --> 14:02.933 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% Coming in, I thought it was very obvious that I was cool. 14:02.933 --> 14:06.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I mean, for me back then, it was aspirational 14:06.200 --> 14:08.366 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% in a way that I kind of cringe at now 14:08.366 --> 14:10.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% to be as American as possible. 14:11.966 --> 14:13.833 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I was arguably well-spoken. 14:13.833 --> 14:16.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I got the pop culture references. 14:16.266 --> 14:18.933 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I engaged in sarcasm very well. 14:18.933 --> 14:20.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I watched all 10 seasons of Friends, 14:20.766 --> 14:23.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and all the episodes of "Star Wars". 14:23.033 --> 14:24.766 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I thought I had it down. 14:24.766 --> 14:27.600 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I saw myself as one of the guys, 14:27.600 --> 14:30.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% every bit American as the next person. 14:30.466 --> 14:33.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% However, I remember the first time I ordered 14:33.100 --> 14:35.466 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% at McDonald's in Boston. 14:35.466 --> 14:37.966 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% The person at the counter kind of double checked 14:37.966 --> 14:40.866 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% that my non-vegetarian order was in fact intentional. 14:42.033 --> 14:43.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Then it happened a few other times 14:43.666 --> 14:46.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% before I realized that the color of my skin 14:46.266 --> 14:49.600 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% may mean I was automatically considered vegetarian 14:49.600 --> 14:51.266 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% in some circles. 14:51.266 --> 14:52.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% It was not a big deal at all, 14:52.933 --> 14:55.366 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% but as a hardcore bacon lover, 14:55.366 --> 14:57.500 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% I was very offended. 14:57.500 --> 15:00.000 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Then, as an exchange medical student, 15:00.000 --> 15:03.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I started taking my first patient history. 15:03.600 --> 15:06.533 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I saw this split second look of confusion 15:06.533 --> 15:08.666 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% on the elderly gentleman's face. 15:08.666 --> 15:10.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% He screwed up his eyes like he was bracing 15:10.866 --> 15:13.000 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% to not be able to understand me 15:13.000 --> 15:16.000 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% before eventually realizing I did speak English 15:16.000 --> 15:18.066 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% in a way he could understand. 15:18.066 --> 15:20.900 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% My eager and insecure little 24-year-old heart 15:20.900 --> 15:23.200 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% however sank a teeny bit. 15:23.200 --> 15:25.366 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Then the same thing happened with a younger guy 15:25.366 --> 15:28.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% who showed me around the first gym I joined. 15:29.200 --> 15:32.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Eventually, that split second look of confusion 15:32.000 --> 15:35.200 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% became so familiar, I began to expect it 15:35.200 --> 15:36.666 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% at every new interaction. 15:37.833 --> 15:41.000 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I have now realized, after all these years, 15:41.000 --> 15:44.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that maybe it was not so obvious to others, 15:44.500 --> 15:47.766 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% my coolness, or my fitting in-ness. 15:47.766 --> 15:50.833 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% I think it finally clicked that one time I realized 15:50.833 --> 15:54.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% my friend here, who to me was just my friend, 15:54.400 --> 15:56.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% referred to me to her other friends 15:56.700 --> 15:58.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% as her Indian friend. 15:59.600 --> 16:02.400 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% My dear friend meant no harm at all, obviously, 16:02.400 --> 16:04.900 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% but I essentially had failed 16:04.900 --> 16:07.733 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% in my aspirational Americanness. 16:07.733 --> 16:09.900 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Whether these aspirations were acquired 16:09.900 --> 16:12.900 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% or well-placed is a question for another day. 16:12.900 --> 16:14.933 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% And I cannot help but feel 16:14.933 --> 16:17.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% like these are trivial grievances. 16:17.166 --> 16:20.400 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% That is a common theme with these experiences often. 16:20.400 --> 16:21.833 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% Am I imagining it? 16:21.833 --> 16:24.666 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Was it because I'm brown, or a woman, or young? 16:24.666 --> 16:25.900 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% Was it even real? 16:25.900 --> 16:27.066 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I must be overreacting. 16:27.066 --> 16:28.400 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% This is all in my head. 16:28.400 --> 16:29.566 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I'll go take a walk now. 16:30.433 --> 16:31.966 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% Do they matter that much? 16:31.966 --> 16:34.066 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Another close friend asked once recently 16:34.066 --> 16:35.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% while we were discussing the perceptions 16:35.766 --> 16:37.566 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and nuances of racism. 16:37.566 --> 16:40.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Must we all be such wallflowers? 16:40.966 --> 16:43.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Of course none of these people meant any harm. 16:43.666 --> 16:46.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% In fact, they were all genuinely lovely people. 16:46.800 --> 16:49.900 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% But the thing is, sometimes it's the little things 16:49.900 --> 16:52.233 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% that define our otherness. 16:52.233 --> 16:54.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% When you look back in middle school or high school, 16:54.400 --> 16:56.733 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% do you remember not wanting to stand out 16:56.733 --> 16:58.300 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% in any way at all? 16:58.300 --> 16:59.566 align:left position:42.5% line:89% size:47.5% I did. 16:59.566 --> 17:01.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% The most pressing motivational factor 17:01.700 --> 17:03.166 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% was the need to fit in. 17:03.166 --> 17:07.466 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% The need to not be seen as different or weird in any way. 17:08.566 --> 17:10.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% But then do you also remember that first day 17:10.200 --> 17:13.233 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% you had to wear glasses to school, or braces? 17:13.233 --> 17:15.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% You can perhaps still feel that anxiety 17:15.233 --> 17:17.300 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% in the pit of your stomach as you turn the corner 17:17.300 --> 17:19.300 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% of the hallway and walked into class. 17:20.466 --> 17:23.066 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% When you think about it, that motivation remains 17:23.066 --> 17:25.466 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% for most of our lives on some level. 17:25.466 --> 17:28.233 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% At the end of the day, you kind of hope you fit in 17:28.233 --> 17:31.500 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% within the community you spend most of your time with. 17:31.500 --> 17:33.900 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And that's why it matters, because it feels 17:33.900 --> 17:36.133 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% like middle school a bit, all of the time, 17:36.133 --> 17:39.466 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% for all of our lives in this country we as immigrants 17:39.466 --> 17:42.333 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% earnestly choose to call home. 17:42.333 --> 17:45.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% The anxiety in the pit of your stomach, everyday, 17:45.133 --> 17:47.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% at work, at school, at the grocery story, 17:47.333 --> 17:49.400 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% being a little bit fearful, 17:49.400 --> 17:52.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% fearful of microaggressions and exchanged glances, 17:52.166 --> 17:55.533 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% and subtle changes in body language indicating discomfort, 17:55.533 --> 17:58.300 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% fearful of being dismissed and talked over. 17:58.300 --> 18:00.866 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% It makes the path a little more arduous. 18:02.033 --> 18:04.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But these discomforts are going to be here 18:04.366 --> 18:06.566 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% for a long time, for People of Color, 18:06.566 --> 18:09.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% because change is hard and takes time. 18:09.033 --> 18:12.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And there are far more overt racially charged experiences 18:12.366 --> 18:14.200 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% we need to tackle first. 18:14.200 --> 18:16.766 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% So in the interim, what can we do? 18:16.766 --> 18:20.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% What we could do is maybe offer some extra kindness 18:20.200 --> 18:22.866 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% to that one intern who's treated a little differently. 18:23.866 --> 18:26.466 align:left position:37.5% line:89% size:52.5% Thank you. 18:26.466 --> 18:28.966 align:left position:32.5% line:5% size:57.5% (man singing) 18:34.066 --> 18:35.600 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% - When I was eight years old, 18:35.600 --> 18:37.766 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% I was in my grandparents' house on the reservation, 18:37.766 --> 18:40.700 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and my grandpa asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, 18:40.700 --> 18:43.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and I said I want to be a doctor. 18:44.866 --> 18:47.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% His response to me, this man who loved me very much, 18:47.200 --> 18:48.700 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and took really good care of me, 18:48.700 --> 18:52.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% his response was well, you're too stupid to be doctor. 18:52.200 --> 18:55.733 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% My grandpa is really wise, so I thought oh, okay. 18:55.733 --> 18:57.800 align:left position:27.5% line:5% size:62.5% I believed him for about 20 years, 18:57.800 --> 19:00.200 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% and then in my late 20s, I was a cop, 19:00.200 --> 19:04.766 align:left position:15% line:5% size:75% and I was driving my patrol car down the road. 19:04.766 --> 19:06.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I had this really striking thought 19:06.633 --> 19:09.466 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that came to me, it was like somebody else was telling me. 19:09.466 --> 19:10.766 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% You know, you can do this. 19:12.166 --> 19:14.766 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I decided right then that that was what I was gonna be, 19:14.766 --> 19:15.866 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% was a doctor. 19:17.433 --> 19:19.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I still doubted myself every once in a while. 19:19.766 --> 19:22.666 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I remember telling my Elders who were like grandpas to me, 19:22.666 --> 19:24.033 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% this is too hard. 19:24.033 --> 19:26.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Thinking maybe I need to be doing something else. 19:26.100 --> 19:28.166 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% And they said no, we need you. 19:29.366 --> 19:30.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% How could I say no to that? 19:33.800 --> 19:36.966 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% (bright music) 19:36.966 --> 19:38.533 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% My name's Bret Benally Thompson. 19:38.533 --> 19:41.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I'm a palliative care and hospice physician 19:41.033 --> 19:43.166 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% at the University of Wisconsin. 19:47.600 --> 19:50.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% What we do as physicians is really precious. 19:52.100 --> 19:53.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I hear people's stories all the time. 19:53.700 --> 19:56.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% A lot of times, they're really tough stories. 19:56.100 --> 19:59.466 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% And sometimes we can fix them, 19:59.466 --> 20:01.100 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% sometimes they don't need fixing, 20:01.100 --> 20:03.933 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% but we still hear their stories. 20:03.933 --> 20:06.866 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% We walk people through that part of their life 20:06.866 --> 20:09.200 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that they're there, asking us for help. 20:10.466 --> 20:13.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Most people don't want to leave this life, 20:13.000 --> 20:15.166 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% and most people don't want to leave their families 20:15.166 --> 20:16.666 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and the people that they love. 20:18.966 --> 20:21.533 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% As a vet myself, I a lot of times 20:21.533 --> 20:23.833 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% will connect with veterans. 20:23.833 --> 20:26.333 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I figure they've probably suffered in some way 20:26.333 --> 20:29.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to take care of us, so it's something I can 20:29.500 --> 20:31.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% give back to them, by taking care of them. 20:35.200 --> 20:37.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% A lot of times, the families or patients thank me 20:37.000 --> 20:38.500 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% for taking care of them. 20:38.500 --> 20:40.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I say well it's an honor for me to take care of you. 20:45.200 --> 20:48.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I don't tell people that I'm Native unless they ask me. 20:48.000 --> 20:50.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Because I'm one of those guys that could pass for either. 20:50.933 --> 20:55.033 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% But it's definitely a part of who I am spiritually. 20:55.033 --> 20:57.433 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% The way I've been taught, and the way I've learned 20:57.433 --> 21:01.100 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% as an adult in our ceremonies, and our way of life, 21:01.100 --> 21:03.266 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% really helps keep me grounded in what I do. 21:04.700 --> 21:06.533 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Part of what I really love about being a physician 21:06.533 --> 21:10.433 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% is I get to go back and talk to young people 21:10.433 --> 21:12.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% about what it's like to be a doctor, 21:12.500 --> 21:16.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and if they have any inkling about being a doctor, 21:16.366 --> 21:19.500 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that it's actually something that they can do. 21:19.500 --> 21:23.066 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Some people go right from high school to college 21:23.066 --> 21:24.333 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% to medical school. 21:24.333 --> 21:26.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% That's probably the most common way 21:26.333 --> 21:28.000 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% that people become physicians, 21:28.000 --> 21:29.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% is they just go straight through. 21:29.900 --> 21:32.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But my path has never been a straight path. 21:32.666 --> 21:34.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I've had a very rich and full life, 21:34.400 --> 21:36.666 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% but it's taken a lot of twists and turns, 21:36.666 --> 21:39.366 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and I think a lot of Native people are that way. 21:39.366 --> 21:41.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% We don't have the same opportunities, 21:41.033 --> 21:42.900 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% maybe don't have the same resources 21:42.900 --> 21:44.733 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% that some other people have. 21:45.733 --> 21:47.366 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% When I encounter an obstacle, 21:47.366 --> 21:48.833 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% if I can't go over it or through it, 21:48.833 --> 21:50.566 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% I go around it. 21:50.566 --> 21:52.700 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% That might take some extra time, 21:52.700 --> 21:56.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% or it might take a more ingenious way to do it, 21:56.666 --> 21:59.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% but Native people are pretty ingenious. 21:59.166 --> 22:00.433 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% It's how we've survived. 22:02.400 --> 22:04.233 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I always tend to get there, 22:05.400 --> 22:07.633 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and that's how I got to be a physician. 22:07.633 --> 22:11.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I never gave up, never gave up on my dream. 22:15.266 --> 22:18.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Why is it important to tell our stories? 22:18.300 --> 22:20.966 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - If we tell our stories, we understand each other better. 22:20.966 --> 22:23.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - When everyone is able to share their story, 22:23.666 --> 22:26.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% when we understand those multiple perspectives. 22:26.500 --> 22:29.433 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% - We all come with a special nuance 22:29.433 --> 22:30.733 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% that makes us different. 22:30.733 --> 22:32.900 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% - We're able to build systems and structures 22:32.900 --> 22:35.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that take into account the diverse needs 22:35.333 --> 22:38.066 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and desires of the entire community. 22:38.066 --> 22:39.833 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% - When people hear these stories, 22:39.833 --> 22:41.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% they feel like they're part of something. 22:41.633 --> 22:43.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% - It's important for my story to be told, 22:43.500 --> 22:46.066 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% because people are oftentimes not even aware 22:46.066 --> 22:48.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that Native Americans still exist in this country. 22:48.300 --> 22:51.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - The world is very harsh and unkind, 22:51.566 --> 22:54.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and when we share stories and connections, 22:54.666 --> 22:57.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that is how we build empathy, and that is the only way 22:57.166 --> 22:59.733 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% that we can possibly begin to heal the world. 22:59.733 --> 23:01.800 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - Understanding the narrative 23:01.800 --> 23:05.400 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% really identifies elements people can latch onto. 23:05.400 --> 23:06.700 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% It pulls them along. 23:06.700 --> 23:08.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - And sometimes we just need to be quiet 23:08.633 --> 23:10.133 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and listen to patients. 23:10.133 --> 23:14.300 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - We have a head and a heart and a hands problem. 23:14.300 --> 23:16.866 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% So the head is just the data, the facts, 23:16.866 --> 23:19.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% that we have these healthcare disparities. 23:19.200 --> 23:20.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% The heart are the stories, right? 23:20.700 --> 23:23.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% They're the actual stories that we all tell 23:23.300 --> 23:25.233 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% about how we experience them, how our patients 23:25.233 --> 23:26.666 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and families experience them, 23:26.666 --> 23:29.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and then the hands are what we actually can do 23:29.300 --> 23:30.633 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% to make a difference. 23:30.633 --> 23:32.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% And so without having the heart, 23:32.966 --> 23:34.966 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% it's really hard to do the hands. 23:38.466 --> 23:40.166 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - Our stories have to be told 23:40.166 --> 23:42.200 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% so that we can activate change. 23:46.466 --> 23:50.300 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% - Traveling a path less worn requires constant 23:50.300 --> 23:52.900 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% calculation and readjustment. 23:52.900 --> 23:55.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% It involves celebrating milestones, 23:55.200 --> 23:57.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% as well as marking the hazards and pitfalls 23:57.966 --> 24:00.200 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% for those who come after. 24:00.200 --> 24:04.633 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% The experience can be both lonely and exhilarating. 24:04.633 --> 24:08.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% These next storytellers take us on that journey, 24:08.100 --> 24:10.866 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and share with us the lessons that they've learned. 24:16.233 --> 24:18.733 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% - I have come to understand that in the fight 24:18.733 --> 24:22.200 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% for health equity, my presence as a Black woman physician 24:22.200 --> 24:26.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% is welcome so long as I am seen and not heard. 24:27.700 --> 24:30.866 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% This conditional acceptance has been a painful realization, 24:30.866 --> 24:33.633 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and dissent is not without its consequences, 24:33.633 --> 24:35.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% a lesson I learned one night while working 24:35.366 --> 24:37.433 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% on the adult inpatient medicine ward. 24:38.633 --> 24:40.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I received a call from the nurse of Patricia, 24:40.900 --> 24:42.733 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% a Black sickle cell patient. 24:42.733 --> 24:45.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I learned that a pill find while cleaning out her handbag 24:45.533 --> 24:48.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% had been identified as a narcotic medication. 24:48.733 --> 24:51.233 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Security and nursing staff requested our presence 24:51.233 --> 24:52.466 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% for a room search. 24:52.466 --> 24:54.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Patricia's mental status had not changed. 24:54.766 --> 24:56.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% There had been no change in her vital signs 24:56.566 --> 24:59.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% or clinical status, and there was no indication 24:59.200 --> 25:00.600 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% that she had consumed any pills 25:00.600 --> 25:02.700 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% preceding security's presence. 25:02.700 --> 25:04.433 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Upon relaying this to the nurse, 25:04.433 --> 25:07.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and asking for time to review the policy, 25:07.100 --> 25:09.966 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% she paused briefly before asking me to confirm 25:09.966 --> 25:12.766 align:left position:22.5% line:77% size:67.5% that I would not be participating in the room search. 25:13.933 --> 25:16.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I sat for a while in stunned silence. 25:16.666 --> 25:19.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% If a room search was indicated for Patricia, 25:19.500 --> 25:22.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% why had it not been indicated earlier in the week 25:22.200 --> 25:25.166 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% for my other patient who happened to be a white male, 25:25.166 --> 25:27.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% when he left the unit, returned somnolent, 25:27.766 --> 25:30.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and returned to normal when he got Narcan, 25:30.033 --> 25:33.600 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% the antidote for opioid pain medication overdoses. 25:33.600 --> 25:35.766 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% By the time I had learned there was no defined 25:35.766 --> 25:38.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% room search policy, it had concluded. 25:38.800 --> 25:41.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% When I visited Patricia later, she wept 25:41.166 --> 25:44.100 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% while recounting the indignity of being separated 25:44.100 --> 25:46.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% from her belongings, and being patted down 25:46.200 --> 25:48.333 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% by uniformed staff. 25:48.333 --> 25:50.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Nothing had come of the room search, 25:50.633 --> 25:53.600 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% but she was left to pick up the pieces of her mistreatment. 25:55.100 --> 26:00.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My internal response was a visceral thing. 26:01.433 --> 26:05.700 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% A living, breathing amalgamation of ancestral voices 26:06.833 --> 26:10.866 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% coalescing into a single reverberating word. 26:11.933 --> 26:12.766 align:left position:42.5% line:89% size:47.5% No. 26:14.366 --> 26:16.033 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% This was wrong. 26:17.366 --> 26:20.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But even rooted in the assurance of advocacy 26:20.000 --> 26:23.766 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and social justice, an insidious, intoxicating fear 26:23.766 --> 26:26.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% pressed forward, determined to lull me 26:26.333 --> 26:28.233 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% into the safety of silence. 26:29.400 --> 26:33.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Speaking up would be a radical act of defiance 26:33.033 --> 26:35.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% for a Black woman who has been conditioned 26:35.566 --> 26:39.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to keep her head down, to be agreeable, 26:39.366 --> 26:40.566 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% to not make trouble. 26:42.233 --> 26:44.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% When Patricia's nurse asked to debrief, 26:44.100 --> 26:46.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I steeled myself in a stance of curiosity, 26:46.666 --> 26:48.533 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% and asked many questions. 26:48.533 --> 26:51.166 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% What was the concern from a nursing perspective? 26:51.166 --> 26:53.666 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% How could we have improved our communication? 26:53.666 --> 26:55.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% How do we make decisions on when to implement 26:55.666 --> 26:56.666 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% a room search? 26:56.666 --> 26:58.733 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% What alternatives did we have? 26:58.733 --> 27:01.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% When invited, I shared my own perspective. 27:01.633 --> 27:03.633 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Together, we created a plan to address 27:03.633 --> 27:05.733 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% similar concerns in the future. 27:05.733 --> 27:07.733 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% We shook hands and hugged. 27:07.733 --> 27:10.833 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% The chasm between us didn't feel so wide. 27:10.833 --> 27:13.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% While it wouldn't change what happened with Patricia, 27:13.133 --> 27:15.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% we could prevent harm to another patient, 27:15.266 --> 27:16.733 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and that was something. 27:18.066 --> 27:21.566 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% The next night, I was informed that nursing staff 27:21.566 --> 27:24.733 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% had filed a complaint stating I had been unsupportive, 27:24.733 --> 27:26.900 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and refused to act collaboratively. 27:29.500 --> 27:31.433 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% First came shock. 27:31.433 --> 27:33.100 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% Then anger. 27:33.100 --> 27:35.400 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% And when the anger was spent, 27:35.400 --> 27:38.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% an overwhelming emotional exhaustion. 27:39.566 --> 27:43.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I cried for days afterward. 27:43.100 --> 27:47.233 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% It had taken me years of training and education 27:47.233 --> 27:50.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% to learn to abandon the lessons handed down 27:50.566 --> 27:53.600 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% by my forefathers to keep my head down. 27:53.600 --> 27:55.566 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% To be agreeable. 27:55.566 --> 27:57.600 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% To not make trouble. 27:57.600 --> 27:59.000 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I wonder if they understood 27:59.000 --> 28:02.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that through the weaponization of their feedback, 28:02.166 --> 28:03.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% they had taken something from me 28:03.966 --> 28:05.466 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% that I couldn't get back. 28:06.400 --> 28:07.866 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% What had they given up? 28:07.866 --> 28:10.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I was ready to have difficult conversations 28:10.300 --> 28:11.800 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% to bridge the divide. 28:12.866 --> 28:15.300 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% But even though I had arrived, 28:15.300 --> 28:17.366 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% had been welcomed, even, 28:17.366 --> 28:20.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I am still subject to the same inequities 28:20.166 --> 28:21.666 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% that my patients face. 28:23.133 --> 28:24.866 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% I think of Patricia often. 28:26.300 --> 28:29.400 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I worry that the damage done to her is irreparable. 28:29.400 --> 28:31.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I worry that progress is too slow, 28:31.666 --> 28:33.300 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and patients are being harmed 28:33.300 --> 28:35.233 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% while we strive for what could be. 28:36.133 --> 28:37.966 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% I worry that while I believe 28:37.966 --> 28:40.966 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% being the dissenting voice was right, 28:40.966 --> 28:44.000 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% I may not always have the fortitude 28:44.000 --> 28:47.733 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% to always be a voice for the voiceless. 28:59.633 --> 29:01.366 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - Are you the doctor? 29:01.366 --> 29:04.366 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% (gentle music) (monitors beeping) 29:04.366 --> 29:07.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Your frayed undertone alerts me to what's coming. 29:07.300 --> 29:09.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Grievances, waiting for a scapegoat. 29:09.733 --> 29:11.600 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I suppress a sigh. 29:11.600 --> 29:13.433 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% 17 patients to see, and you were 29:13.433 --> 29:15.700 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% the only straightforward one. 29:15.700 --> 29:17.700 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% This is not how I wanted to start my day. 29:18.633 --> 29:20.433 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% I fix my face. 29:20.433 --> 29:22.700 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% Yes, I'm your doctor. 29:22.700 --> 29:25.700 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% My hollow words hang silently in the air. 29:25.700 --> 29:27.600 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% The most charitable observer would find 29:27.600 --> 29:29.866 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% no warmth in your gaze. 29:29.866 --> 29:32.700 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% The nurse's curt assessment of you is still fresh, 29:32.700 --> 29:34.766 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% difficult and standoffish. 29:34.766 --> 29:36.066 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% How are you feeling? 29:36.066 --> 29:37.700 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I silently repeat the mantra. 29:37.700 --> 29:38.933 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% I'm here to help. 29:38.933 --> 29:40.133 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% Tell me your story. 29:40.133 --> 29:43.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Projecting a safe space that doesn't exist. 29:43.200 --> 29:45.066 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% You reject the mirage. 29:45.066 --> 29:48.233 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% The rigid lines etched into your face don't soften, 29:48.233 --> 29:50.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% but it's your eyes that speak the truth. 29:50.866 --> 29:52.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Exhaustion has smothered everything, 29:52.933 --> 29:56.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% leaving muted embers of anger in its aftermath. 29:56.100 --> 29:59.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Dread crouches at the periphery, waiting. 29:59.633 --> 30:01.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I came here because I can't breathe. 30:01.533 --> 30:04.200 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% I've been asked four times already if I do drugs. 30:04.200 --> 30:06.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Why do y'all keep asking the same thing? 30:06.533 --> 30:09.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% This question is not an extended olive branch. 30:09.300 --> 30:11.466 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% It's the crisp crinkling of a test booklet 30:11.466 --> 30:13.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% as you prepare to grade my answer. 30:13.966 --> 30:15.566 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% I'm restless. 30:15.566 --> 30:18.133 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Precious time is leaking away. 30:18.133 --> 30:20.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Weariness coils tightly around me 30:20.233 --> 30:23.966 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% like a boa constrictor made of impotence and cynicism. 30:23.966 --> 30:25.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My legs can no longer bear the weight. 30:29.866 --> 30:30.633 align:left position:37.5% line:89% size:52.5% May I sit? 30:31.633 --> 30:32.433 align:left position:37.5% line:89% size:52.5% You nod. 30:33.700 --> 30:36.266 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% I settle in at the edge of your bed. 30:36.266 --> 30:39.133 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% There's no quick way through this conversation. 30:39.133 --> 30:42.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I could say we ask all patients about drug use. 30:42.533 --> 30:44.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Normalize it, and attempt to sidestep 30:44.700 --> 30:46.866 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% the traumatic undercurrents. 30:46.866 --> 30:48.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I might acknowledge your distress, 30:48.800 --> 30:50.933 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% and ask you to tell me more. 30:50.933 --> 30:52.866 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% The med school answer. 30:52.866 --> 30:55.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I could even say I'm sorry that happened, 30:55.033 --> 30:56.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and then take control of the conversation 30:56.866 --> 30:58.700 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% by asking about your breathing. 30:58.700 --> 30:59.933 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% The hospitalist answer. 31:01.200 --> 31:04.600 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Suddenly, I'm back in college. 31:04.600 --> 31:06.766 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% An officer is approaching my black Honda Civic 31:06.766 --> 31:08.433 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% with his weapon drawn. 31:08.433 --> 31:11.200 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% He's shouting show me your hands. 31:11.200 --> 31:14.800 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% They shake as I stick them out of the driver's side window. 31:14.800 --> 31:16.433 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% I'm taken to jail. 31:16.433 --> 31:19.633 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I spend my phone call on a friend who doesn't pick up. 31:19.633 --> 31:21.933 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I'm released the next day with a gruff apology 31:21.933 --> 31:23.433 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% from the officer. 31:23.433 --> 31:24.766 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% You aren't the right guy. 31:24.766 --> 31:26.300 align:left position:42.5% line:89% size:47.5% Sorry. 31:26.300 --> 31:30.266 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% My doctor mask slips, exposing the human beneath. 31:30.266 --> 31:32.166 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% My answer is all bitter edges. 31:33.666 --> 31:36.366 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Some people get the benefit of the doubt, others don't. 31:37.600 --> 31:39.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I can't promise it won't happen again, 31:39.366 --> 31:40.500 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% but I'll do what I can. 31:42.100 --> 31:45.633 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% At some point I ask you, when did your symptoms start? 31:45.633 --> 31:47.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% You have trouble answering me. 31:47.766 --> 31:50.833 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I reach back to a conversation with my dad. 31:50.833 --> 31:52.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I don't get why doctors expect us to know 31:52.500 --> 31:54.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% the difference between regular discomfort 31:54.200 --> 31:55.533 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and bad discomfort. 31:55.533 --> 31:56.833 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% Life is pain. 31:56.833 --> 31:59.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% You work through it until you can't. 31:59.000 --> 32:00.433 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I reframe the question. 32:01.833 --> 32:04.100 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% When did life start getting harder than usual? 32:04.100 --> 32:06.000 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Your answer is instantaneous. 32:06.000 --> 32:07.000 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% Five months ago. 32:08.200 --> 32:10.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Gathering the rest of your history is easy. 32:10.266 --> 32:12.266 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% You're comfortable with my plan. 32:12.266 --> 32:14.666 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% You smile for the first time. 32:14.666 --> 32:15.700 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% Thank you, doctor. 32:17.100 --> 32:19.533 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Later today, we'll discuss your abnormal results 32:19.533 --> 32:21.500 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and upcoming procedures. 32:21.500 --> 32:22.333 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% You'll cry. 32:23.333 --> 32:24.600 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% I'll sit with you again. 32:25.833 --> 32:27.666 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% You'll talk about the pressures of your job, 32:27.666 --> 32:29.866 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and the challenges of being a single parent. 32:31.000 --> 32:33.833 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% When I look at you, I see family. 32:33.833 --> 32:35.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Several generations of hard lessons 32:35.600 --> 32:37.500 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% discouraging vulnerability. 32:37.500 --> 32:39.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% You can't afford to be less than invincible 32:39.500 --> 32:41.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% when shielding others from the struggle, 32:41.500 --> 32:44.833 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and yet you're here, unable to go on. 32:44.833 --> 32:47.566 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I can't resolve this cognitive dissonance for you. 32:47.566 --> 32:50.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% All I can offer is this small fleeting space 32:50.333 --> 32:53.533 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% carved out with the keen edges of shared trauma. 32:53.533 --> 32:56.500 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% Maybe here, you can temporarily afford to be human. 32:58.000 --> 33:00.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Two days from now, you'll ask me about life 33:00.166 --> 33:02.066 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% as a Black hospitalist. 33:02.066 --> 33:04.800 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% You'll listen as I talk about George Floyd, 33:04.800 --> 33:09.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% sick family members, protests, and COVID-19. 33:09.166 --> 33:11.633 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% I will no longer track the time during our visit. 33:12.566 --> 33:14.066 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Flakes of clinical detachment 33:14.066 --> 33:16.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% will fall from me like a shattered cast, 33:16.500 --> 33:18.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% revealing the exhausted husk beneath, 33:19.933 --> 33:22.100 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% The wall separating the personal from the professional 33:22.100 --> 33:24.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% will completely vanish, trapping me in a moment 33:24.966 --> 33:26.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that is both cathartic and triggering. 33:28.233 --> 33:30.433 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% You'll extend an incredible amount of compassion 33:30.433 --> 33:32.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% as tears soak my mask, and ragged breaths 33:32.966 --> 33:34.900 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% fog up my face shield. 33:34.900 --> 33:38.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% You'll take my hand, lending me your resolve. 33:38.566 --> 33:42.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Somehow, you'll know exactly what I need to hear. 33:42.000 --> 33:44.133 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Don't give up on us, Dr. Williams. 33:44.133 --> 33:45.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% You're not alone. 33:45.400 --> 33:46.500 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% We need you. 33:55.766 --> 33:58.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - And the summer of 2020 was really hard. 33:58.666 --> 34:01.800 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% (soft tense music) 34:01.800 --> 34:06.133 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% We were all, I think, feeling isolated and stunned. 34:07.466 --> 34:10.900 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% When we finally started talking about the issues of race, 34:10.900 --> 34:14.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and I kept waiting for something to happen, 34:14.233 --> 34:16.633 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and nothing seemed to be developing, 34:16.633 --> 34:18.666 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% specifically for healthcare professionals, 34:18.666 --> 34:21.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and so I talked to our whole department, 34:21.033 --> 34:23.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and the medical students and the residents 34:23.166 --> 34:24.966 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% I worked with, we decided to partner 34:24.966 --> 34:26.466 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% with White Coats for Black Lives, 34:26.466 --> 34:29.500 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and to organize our own rally. 34:32.033 --> 34:34.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Safety was at the utmost importance 34:34.800 --> 34:36.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% for all of us, because we didn't want 34:36.366 --> 34:39.000 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% to take ourselves out of the essential workforce, 34:39.000 --> 34:41.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and so we decided that a silent sit-in 34:41.300 --> 34:42.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% would probably be the most safe. 34:45.900 --> 34:48.066 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% It felt really good for all of us, 34:48.066 --> 34:49.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to be there, and to be there in force, 34:49.966 --> 34:52.366 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% and to have our voice heard, 34:52.366 --> 34:54.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and for us to come together like that. 34:56.466 --> 34:58.833 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I think messaging and witnessing are important, 34:58.833 --> 35:01.800 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% but only up to a point, and systems 35:05.233 --> 35:08.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% are very, very hard to change. 35:08.100 --> 35:12.200 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% At some point, you can't spend all your energy 35:12.200 --> 35:13.700 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% just messaging, and witnessing, 35:13.700 --> 35:15.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and demonstrating and protesting, 35:15.200 --> 35:17.533 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% you have to really transform that into action. 35:18.366 --> 35:21.233 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% But I think at key moments, 35:22.433 --> 35:24.933 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% when everybody has this need to come together 35:24.933 --> 35:27.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% for our message, it serves that purpose. 35:28.733 --> 35:32.200 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% So it felt like a good starting point. 35:38.633 --> 35:41.633 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - My new therapist peers at me through Zoom 35:41.633 --> 35:44.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and asks me to describe my childhood. 35:44.566 --> 35:45.933 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% Where do I start? 35:45.933 --> 35:47.866 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% - [Producer] Brenda Her, take one. 35:47.866 --> 35:51.700 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% - In my culture, childhood begins before you are born. 35:51.700 --> 35:54.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I am the daughter of Cher Thang Her and Xong Yang. 35:55.433 --> 35:57.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I am a descendant of the Hmong people 35:57.533 --> 35:59.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% who fought during the Secret War, 35:59.366 --> 36:02.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% some who are shaman spiritual healers. 36:02.666 --> 36:05.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I carry the imprint of trauma 36:05.100 --> 36:07.166 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% from war and genocide, 36:07.166 --> 36:09.100 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% sexism and racism, 36:09.100 --> 36:12.100 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% passed down from one generation to the next 36:12.100 --> 36:15.933 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% through parenting, modeling, and societal pressure. 36:15.933 --> 36:18.766 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I carry the unhealed wounds of my mother, 36:18.766 --> 36:21.500 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% my grandmothers, and Hmong sisters, 36:21.500 --> 36:25.600 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% living in a culture of silence ruled by patriarchy. 36:25.600 --> 36:29.266 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I witness my parents hide their wounds and suffer 36:29.266 --> 36:31.633 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% from the unresolved trauma they didn't have 36:31.633 --> 36:33.266 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% the luxury of healing. 36:33.266 --> 36:36.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And so, they imprinted their children 36:36.166 --> 36:38.133 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% with the lessons of survival 36:38.133 --> 36:41.133 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that were given by our ancestors. 36:41.133 --> 36:44.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% The survival lessons I learned in childhood 36:44.033 --> 36:46.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% continue to be my inner struggle. 36:47.433 --> 36:49.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I learned that in order to survive 36:49.700 --> 36:52.000 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% as a Hmong woman in America, 36:52.000 --> 36:55.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I had to please, perform, and perfect. 36:55.933 --> 36:59.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% No exceptions, no mistakes. 36:59.100 --> 37:01.733 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% And anything less was a failure. 37:01.733 --> 37:03.933 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I worked hard on fixing myself, 37:03.933 --> 37:07.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% cycling between podcasts, online cognitive 37:07.200 --> 37:10.066 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% behavioral therapy, and self-help books, 37:10.066 --> 37:13.233 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% searching for something to teach me how to balance 37:13.233 --> 37:15.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% my mother's worsening heart failure 37:15.666 --> 37:18.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and dialysis-dependent kidney disease 37:18.366 --> 37:21.733 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% to teach me how to make sure my brothers and sisters 37:21.733 --> 37:24.600 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% had what they needed to thrive in school. 37:24.600 --> 37:27.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% To teach me to navigate the grueling work hours 37:27.500 --> 37:29.600 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% in the middle of a pandemic, 37:29.600 --> 37:32.500 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% to prove that I belong as a woman, 37:32.500 --> 37:35.166 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and Person of Color in medicine. 37:35.166 --> 37:38.233 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% But all of my efforts only led to frustration 37:38.233 --> 37:40.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% when I fell back into the old habits 37:40.533 --> 37:43.833 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% and gave into the negative thought patterns. 37:43.833 --> 37:46.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% The critical inner voice, and the behaviors 37:46.333 --> 37:49.333 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that I thought would help me fit in, 37:49.333 --> 37:53.400 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% but instead, dimmed the light of who I really was. 37:54.566 --> 37:57.933 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% And that is what led me to that moment. 37:57.933 --> 38:01.900 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Sitting on my couch, laptop in front of me, 38:01.900 --> 38:05.800 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% asking for help for the first time in a long time. 38:05.800 --> 38:07.966 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% It was worth it. 38:07.966 --> 38:11.500 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Through therapy, I learned mind body practices 38:11.500 --> 38:13.666 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% that have transformed my life. 38:13.666 --> 38:16.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I learned to ask for and accept help, 38:16.500 --> 38:18.100 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% not only from my therapist, 38:18.100 --> 38:21.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% but also from family and friends. 38:21.233 --> 38:24.800 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Healing meant going inwards and embracing my roots 38:24.800 --> 38:27.633 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% as a Hmong woman, finding community, 38:27.633 --> 38:29.600 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and honoring the warrior in me 38:29.600 --> 38:33.100 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% who had overcome the challenges of childhood trauma 38:33.100 --> 38:36.566 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and abuse, sexism and racism. 38:36.566 --> 38:38.900 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% It meant learning to accept that my parents 38:38.900 --> 38:42.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% are human beings, with their own unresolved trauma, 38:42.400 --> 38:44.933 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that they didn't have the luxury of healing. 38:44.933 --> 38:48.500 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% My journey to healing and understanding my traumas 38:48.500 --> 38:51.933 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% has shaped and influenced my career in medicine. 38:51.933 --> 38:56.000 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Healing is a daily practice, and an ongoing journey. 38:56.000 --> 38:59.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% With it, I honor my ancestors and parents, 38:59.966 --> 39:03.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% their blood, sweat, tears, and efforts 39:03.300 --> 39:05.666 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% that led me to where I am today. 39:09.033 --> 39:12.866 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - My dreams and hopes for the next generation. 39:12.866 --> 39:15.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - Is that we can create a system of health 39:15.666 --> 39:18.866 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% that is trauma-informed, not trauma-imbued. 39:18.866 --> 39:22.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Is that they can simply be physicians. 39:22.366 --> 39:24.233 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - Whether we have a commitment to our communities 39:24.233 --> 39:26.466 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% in our profession, that we don't have to pick one 39:26.466 --> 39:27.633 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% over the other. 39:27.633 --> 39:30.066 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% We can really satisfy our full selves 39:30.066 --> 39:31.700 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% when it comes to practicing medicine, 39:31.700 --> 39:34.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and knowing that we are not only improving 39:34.966 --> 39:37.466 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% the wellbeing of our individual patients, 39:37.466 --> 39:39.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% but our communities and society as a whole. 39:43.166 --> 39:46.833 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - When talking about race, it's easy to feel stuck, 39:46.833 --> 39:49.166 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and hard to find a way forward. 39:49.166 --> 39:51.633 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% However, as we're about to hear, 39:51.633 --> 39:53.833 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% there is room for hope. 39:53.833 --> 39:56.700 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% (upbeat music) 39:56.700 --> 39:58.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - [Tseganesh] Looking at me, you see how I appear 39:58.966 --> 40:01.033 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% when I enter any space. 40:01.033 --> 40:03.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% A youngish Black woman with a big smile 40:03.700 --> 40:05.300 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% and a strong handshake. 40:05.300 --> 40:08.166 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% What you don't see is the manifestation 40:08.166 --> 40:10.233 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% of my inner white man. 40:10.233 --> 40:11.466 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% Yes, you heard me. 40:11.466 --> 40:14.033 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% I have an inner white man. 40:14.033 --> 40:16.700 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Joe became a part of my life the first time 40:16.700 --> 40:18.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I put on a white coat in medical school. 40:18.966 --> 40:21.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I had him knock first before we entered 40:21.300 --> 40:23.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% the exam room, and had him sit next to me 40:23.533 --> 40:25.666 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% as I took a patient history. 40:25.666 --> 40:28.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I channel him often when I have to explain 40:28.300 --> 40:30.233 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% no, I'm not the nurse. 40:30.233 --> 40:33.733 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Or yes, I have done this procedure before, 40:33.733 --> 40:37.133 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and no, of course I don't mind if you talk 40:37.133 --> 40:39.800 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% to another doctor about this. 40:39.800 --> 40:43.166 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Medicine is the space designed to make me feel 40:43.166 --> 40:47.400 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% alone, uninvited, and constantly second guessing. 40:48.800 --> 40:51.700 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% Joe is expert at protecting me from the questions 40:51.700 --> 40:53.300 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% about my right to be here. 40:53.300 --> 40:56.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Joe can pull up a seat at any of the tables 40:56.000 --> 40:59.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and be made to feel welcome, even wanted. 40:59.533 --> 41:04.200 align:left position:27.5% line:77% size:62.5% Listen, Joe is not an internalization of systemic sexism 41:04.200 --> 41:06.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and racism that tells me my worth is only based 41:06.966 --> 41:10.533 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% on a scale of whiteness, nor is he a demonization 41:10.533 --> 41:12.366 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% of the white male narrative. 41:12.366 --> 41:14.966 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I know every story is different. 41:14.966 --> 41:18.200 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But my Joe, he serves a dual purpose. 41:18.200 --> 41:21.033 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% He reminds me of the systems that I live, 41:21.033 --> 41:24.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and I work in, and he is a powerful tool 41:24.566 --> 41:27.533 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% that I can use to thrive in those environments. 41:27.533 --> 41:31.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% For example, Joe and I looked in the mirror this morning. 41:31.200 --> 41:34.733 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% We made sure that this dress didn't show too much cleavage 41:34.733 --> 41:37.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and that it didn't hug my hips too tightly, 41:37.300 --> 41:39.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% because I want to be judged on the content 41:39.866 --> 41:42.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% of my words, and not the shape of my body. 41:43.766 --> 41:46.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Joe also reminds me to push back my shoulders 41:46.366 --> 41:49.800 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and stand assured that my words are important, 41:49.800 --> 41:52.366 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and my voice is worth hearing. 41:52.366 --> 41:55.366 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% My inner white man, my Joe, is my shorthand. 41:56.600 --> 41:58.400 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% Joe is also my systole. 41:59.866 --> 42:02.600 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Systole is the powerful part of the cardiac cycle. 42:02.600 --> 42:04.633 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Systole is this life-giving force 42:04.633 --> 42:06.633 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% that drives oxygen out of the heart 42:06.633 --> 42:09.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and pushes it throughout the body. 42:09.300 --> 42:10.600 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% Systole is loud. 42:12.433 --> 42:17.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And it often drowns out that brief silence of diastole. 42:17.366 --> 42:19.500 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% When I am in spaces of diastole, 42:19.500 --> 42:22.000 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I notice that my body relaxes. 42:22.000 --> 42:24.633 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% I breathe more fully and deeply, 42:24.633 --> 42:28.033 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% and I feel myself expand to my fullest expression. 42:28.033 --> 42:31.466 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% My heart is full, so full, 42:31.466 --> 42:34.266 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that I can no longer accommodate Joe. 42:34.266 --> 42:36.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I have expanded beyond the spaces 42:36.466 --> 42:38.300 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% that require his presence. 42:39.533 --> 42:42.100 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% Spaces of diastole are sacred. 42:42.100 --> 42:44.466 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% And I have come to understand that they are formed 42:44.466 --> 42:48.933 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% through intention and labor, and are not happy coincidences. 42:50.033 --> 42:53.033 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% My spaces of diastole include my clinic. 42:53.033 --> 42:56.266 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I walk in, I am greeted by nurses and fellow physicians 42:56.266 --> 42:58.766 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% that reflect my lived experiences. 42:58.766 --> 43:01.733 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% My patients are a tapestry of new and old Americans, 43:01.733 --> 43:03.866 align:left position:10% line:5% size:80% woven together in a neighborhood 43:03.866 --> 43:06.766 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that is full of history and promise. 43:06.766 --> 43:11.166 align:left position:20% line:77% size:70% I work in a space where my voice, my story, they are enough. 43:11.166 --> 43:13.000 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% I work in diastole. 43:15.033 --> 43:19.866 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Advocacy is systole, a powerful forward movement 43:19.866 --> 43:23.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% that seeks to make change on behalf of others. 43:23.200 --> 43:28.200 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% In advocacy, just as in life, systole requires diastole. 43:29.333 --> 43:32.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% If we want the energy, the perseverance, 43:32.866 --> 43:35.500 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% and power to seek change, 43:35.500 --> 43:37.600 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% we need spaces of diastole, 43:38.733 --> 43:41.000 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% where we can relax and be filled, 43:41.000 --> 43:44.600 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% where we can heal, where we can thrive and perform 43:44.600 --> 43:46.033 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% at our highest levels. 43:47.166 --> 43:50.500 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% We need to become advocates for diastole. 43:55.166 --> 43:56.600 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - Her eyes brightened, 43:56.600 --> 43:59.733 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% and her cheeks were rounded by her wide smile. 43:59.733 --> 44:02.466 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% She excitedly stood up from where she was playing 44:02.466 --> 44:05.766 align:left position:25% line:5% size:65% and walked towards me as I entered the room. 44:05.766 --> 44:08.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% She gave me a long, unexpected hug. 44:08.933 --> 44:11.666 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Salam, how are you, I asked her. 44:11.666 --> 44:13.933 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Are you my doctor, she asked. 44:13.933 --> 44:17.166 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% Yes, yes I am, I responded, 44:17.166 --> 44:19.266 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% matching her excitement. 44:19.266 --> 44:21.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% She then followed me as I sat down. 44:21.766 --> 44:24.000 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% She reached for my royal blue hijab 44:24.000 --> 44:25.966 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% as she pointed to hers, 44:25.966 --> 44:28.833 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% bright orange and with sparkles. 44:28.833 --> 44:32.466 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% She was eager to share what she was learning in school, 44:32.466 --> 44:35.766 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% stories about her friends, and all the foods 44:35.766 --> 44:38.400 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% she was eating to help her grow. 44:38.400 --> 44:40.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% As I wrapped up our visit, she said 44:40.966 --> 44:44.066 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% I want to be a doctor just like you when I grow up. 44:47.600 --> 44:51.166 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% Sometimes, it's hard to remember the why 44:51.166 --> 44:53.900 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% when so many days are filled with signals 44:53.900 --> 44:56.600 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% that I don't belong. 44:56.600 --> 44:58.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Those quick glances down at my badge 44:58.766 --> 45:01.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that says doctor, back to my face, 45:01.466 --> 45:03.800 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and then back to my badge again. 45:03.800 --> 45:06.466 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% It's hard for me to accept that the white coat 45:06.466 --> 45:09.466 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% I'm wearing, my stethoscope around my neck, 45:09.466 --> 45:11.800 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% my multiple pagers beeping, 45:11.800 --> 45:14.233 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and the patient list in my hand, 45:14.233 --> 45:16.066 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% are still not enough to shield me 45:16.066 --> 45:19.333 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% from the perception that I am out of place. 45:19.333 --> 45:23.233 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% On those days, she is the why. 45:23.233 --> 45:27.800 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% She and many others remind me why I've dedicated 45:27.800 --> 45:32.800 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% so much of my life, my time, my energy, 45:34.000 --> 45:36.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to be in the room with them as their doctor. 45:36.866 --> 45:39.900 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% I often ask myself what does it mean 45:39.900 --> 45:42.066 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% to belong in medicine? 45:42.066 --> 45:45.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% For me, belonging is not about conforming 45:45.300 --> 45:48.000 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% to the appearance of a typical doctor. 45:48.000 --> 45:50.966 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Belonging is about changing the perception 45:50.966 --> 45:53.800 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% of what a doctor looks like. 45:53.800 --> 45:58.166 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% So every time I get asked where are you really from? 45:58.166 --> 46:01.366 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% I think of bright orange and sparkles. 46:01.366 --> 46:04.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Every time I get surprised glances 46:04.533 --> 46:08.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% because I'm explaining life-changing diagnoses, 46:08.300 --> 46:11.866 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% or laying out complicated treatment plans, 46:11.866 --> 46:14.933 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% I think of patients with henna-speckled beards 46:14.933 --> 46:17.866 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% who will agree with my treatment recommendations 46:17.866 --> 46:21.700 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% because of their faith and trust in my presence. 46:21.700 --> 46:24.533 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% As I walk around the hospital with my stethoscope 46:24.533 --> 46:27.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and my hijab, I know that I stand 46:27.566 --> 46:29.900 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% between two generations. 46:29.900 --> 46:32.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I want to inspire my young patients 46:32.100 --> 46:35.800 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% to dream of becoming intelligent and compassionate doctors, 46:35.800 --> 46:39.200 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and I want to be worthy of the Elders 46:39.200 --> 46:42.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% who beam with pride because their sacrifices 46:42.033 --> 46:44.600 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and hopes have been realized. 46:44.600 --> 46:49.033 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% If I do these things, I'll always know that I belong. 46:55.600 --> 46:59.200 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - As clinicians, we have been trained to gather information, 46:59.200 --> 47:02.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% make an assessment, and then thoughtfully move forward 47:02.366 --> 47:03.633 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% with a plan. 47:03.633 --> 47:06.166 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% As you will see, the same process is true 47:06.166 --> 47:08.633 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% when it comes to addressing racial disparities. 47:09.800 --> 47:11.266 align:left position:35% line:89% size:55% (soft music) 47:11.266 --> 47:14.433 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - It's hard to talk about race in Minnesota in general, 47:14.433 --> 47:16.966 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% because I think we feel like we can and we should 47:16.966 --> 47:18.766 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% treat everyone the same way. 47:18.766 --> 47:21.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And I think that is rooted in a healthy way, 47:21.766 --> 47:24.000 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% but if we treat everyone the same way, 47:24.000 --> 47:25.533 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% we assume everyone's the same. 47:29.633 --> 47:32.366 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% Being Vietnamese-American, being a refugee, 47:32.366 --> 47:34.700 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% when I started doing work in medicine, 47:34.700 --> 47:37.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I gravitated to particularly those who 47:37.266 --> 47:39.266 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% are immigrants and refugees. 47:39.266 --> 47:41.966 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% As the population changed, and as the needs changed, 47:41.966 --> 47:44.000 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% I changed with the population. 47:44.000 --> 47:47.100 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And so then my equity work had been more around those 47:47.100 --> 47:49.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% who were dealing with opioid use disorder. 47:51.700 --> 47:53.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% We have a lot of individuals come here 47:53.866 --> 47:56.333 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% that happen to be Indigenous, 47:56.333 --> 47:59.133 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and I was not doing a great service at first, 47:59.133 --> 48:02.266 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% because I didn't understand what their life was like 48:02.266 --> 48:05.533 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% outside of clinic, so I knew I had to take time 48:05.533 --> 48:08.533 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and practice to ask questions, 48:08.533 --> 48:11.500 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% to learn more about just individuals and community, 48:11.500 --> 48:13.266 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% beyond just addiction. 48:13.266 --> 48:17.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And I learned the good stuff, the bad stuff, 48:17.100 --> 48:18.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% and the everything in between. 48:18.766 --> 48:21.266 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And then also working with a researching assistant, 48:21.266 --> 48:24.500 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Koushik Paul, over the last three years, 48:24.500 --> 48:27.233 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% he and I started doing interviews 48:27.233 --> 48:29.533 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% with the Native American community 48:29.533 --> 48:32.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to understand how we can better serve them 48:32.166 --> 48:34.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% around opioid use disorder, particularly 48:34.766 --> 48:36.866 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% in primary care clinics, 48:36.866 --> 48:38.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% and make it more culturally-centered, 48:38.500 --> 48:39.666 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% or family-centered. 48:41.100 --> 48:43.500 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% And all these connections that we built over time 48:43.500 --> 48:48.433 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% in this shared space has given me a place of joy 48:49.600 --> 48:51.100 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% where I am working with communities 48:51.100 --> 48:55.333 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that deserve help, should be elevated and celebrated, 48:55.333 --> 48:58.866 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% but they have been also people who are so accepting, 48:58.866 --> 49:02.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and allow me to learn and make mistakes 49:02.333 --> 49:03.300 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% along the way, too. 49:06.400 --> 49:07.233 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% (gentle music) 49:07.233 --> 49:08.600 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - I'm a pediatrician. 49:08.600 --> 49:12.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I thought I was giving quality care to everyone 49:12.166 --> 49:14.166 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% until one of my colleagues said 49:14.166 --> 49:17.000 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% you should go hear Dr. Heather Hackman speak. 49:17.000 --> 49:19.266 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% And she was presenting on white privilege. 49:19.266 --> 49:23.900 align:left position:17.5% line:5% size:72.5% And I sat in there, at the time, at 47 years of age, 49:25.300 --> 49:28.500 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% embarrassed, because I'd never thought about that issue. 49:28.500 --> 49:33.133 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% So then I started thinking about my patients. 49:33.133 --> 49:35.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% I've had the honor of taking care of kids 49:35.566 --> 49:38.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% with sickle cell disease for over 30 years. 49:38.300 --> 49:40.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% It's an inherited blood disorder, 49:40.600 --> 49:41.900 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% it's a global disorder. 49:41.900 --> 49:44.000 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% It affects people of all races. 49:44.000 --> 49:45.233 align:left position:15% line:89% size:75% But in the United States, 49:45.233 --> 49:47.333 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% virtually all the patients are Black. 49:47.333 --> 49:50.066 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% And I started thinking about me, and the team, 49:50.066 --> 49:51.566 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% and the clinic. 49:51.566 --> 49:54.933 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And at that point, every single one of us was white, 49:56.400 --> 49:59.000 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% and could that fact alone affect the quality of care 49:59.000 --> 50:01.500 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that we deliver these patients and families, 50:01.500 --> 50:03.766 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% or at least the perceptions of that care? 50:03.766 --> 50:07.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% So we asked the question, and it matters a lot. 50:07.400 --> 50:09.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And that was really the impetus for me 50:09.600 --> 50:11.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% to partner with Dr. Heather Hackman 50:11.566 --> 50:15.400 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% to develop a training module around race, racism, 50:15.400 --> 50:17.466 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and whiteness and implicit bias, 50:17.466 --> 50:20.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% specifically for healthcare providers. 50:20.400 --> 50:23.766 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% One very important piece to improve equity 50:23.766 --> 50:26.166 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and outcomes for patients of color 50:26.166 --> 50:29.166 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% is to change the demographics of the healthcare team. 50:29.166 --> 50:32.400 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% Right now, only four percent of licensed physicians 50:32.400 --> 50:34.433 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% in the United States are Black. 50:34.433 --> 50:37.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% And we know that there are better outcomes 50:37.466 --> 50:40.100 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% when there's racial and or cultural concordance 50:40.100 --> 50:42.833 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% between a provider and their patient, 50:42.833 --> 50:44.266 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% because there's better trust. 50:44.266 --> 50:47.566 align:left position:10% line:83% size:80% So until we get that improvement in the demographics 50:47.566 --> 50:50.400 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% of the healthcare team, I'm the one 50:50.400 --> 50:52.566 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% that needs to do the work, and build trust. 50:57.900 --> 51:01.133 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% - I study racism as a fundamental cause of disease. 51:01.133 --> 51:02.866 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - [Producer] Cunningham, take one. 51:02.866 --> 51:05.966 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% - My research right now aims to get white providers 51:05.966 --> 51:07.566 align:left position:10% line:5% size:80% to talk to their Black patients 51:07.566 --> 51:09.833 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% about their experiences of racism. 51:09.833 --> 51:12.533 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% As I sat in on the focus groups, 51:12.533 --> 51:16.966 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% many people were saying yes, racism in healthcare is real. 51:16.966 --> 51:20.500 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% Yes, I or my family members have experienced it, 51:20.500 --> 51:25.300 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% and recounted stories about not being able to access care. 51:25.300 --> 51:27.166 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And when I say access, it's not that they didn't, 51:27.166 --> 51:29.300 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% they had insurance, right? 51:29.300 --> 51:31.666 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% They had transportation to the clinic. 51:31.666 --> 51:34.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% But not being able still once they came in 51:34.566 --> 51:37.233 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% through the clinic doors to get care 51:37.233 --> 51:39.900 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% that they perceived was high quality, and met their needs, 51:39.900 --> 51:41.533 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% or to be listened to. 51:41.533 --> 51:45.133 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% And what I'm hearing, which is very encouraging, 51:45.133 --> 51:48.733 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% is many of our physicians recognize the importance 51:48.733 --> 51:51.866 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% of racism as a cause of disease. 51:51.866 --> 51:54.300 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% Many patients recognize that as well. 51:54.300 --> 51:56.300 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% The challenge is whether people again 51:56.300 --> 51:58.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% are willing to have that conversation 51:59.333 --> 52:00.866 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% in the clinical encounter. 52:03.733 --> 52:06.266 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I really think there's the power at the bedside, 52:06.266 --> 52:10.066 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% but until we do something about those structural 52:10.066 --> 52:12.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% conditions under which people live their lives, 52:12.766 --> 52:15.366 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% we're going to continue to see health disparities. 52:15.366 --> 52:19.433 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% I can only find temporary solutions for people. 52:19.433 --> 52:23.700 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% So person A comes in, and I find a solution. 52:24.900 --> 52:26.700 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% But what happens with structural conditions 52:26.700 --> 52:29.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% is that it's not just person A, right? 52:29.033 --> 52:33.366 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% It's person A, B, C, D, E, who are all coming in, 52:33.366 --> 52:35.700 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% in similar predicaments. 52:35.700 --> 52:39.033 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And so to the extent that those structural conditions 52:39.033 --> 52:42.366 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% produce harm, then I'm gonna always have patients 52:42.366 --> 52:43.600 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% in my office. 52:43.600 --> 52:46.566 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% That is what racism is. 52:46.566 --> 52:50.133 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% It is classifying people into different groups 52:50.133 --> 52:52.066 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and giving them differential access 52:52.066 --> 52:54.366 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% to resources and opportunities. 52:54.366 --> 52:58.366 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% And with that, constructing them differently to justify 52:58.366 --> 53:00.533 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% that different access. 53:00.533 --> 53:03.600 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% So we have to change our society, 53:03.600 --> 53:04.800 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and that's more than healthcare, 53:04.800 --> 53:06.633 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% but healthcare can play a big role. 53:06.633 --> 53:09.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% Physicians as important stakeholders 53:09.100 --> 53:11.666 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% with a voice in power can play a big role. 53:15.333 --> 53:16.866 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% - Thank you for listening. 53:16.866 --> 53:19.533 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% No matter who you are or what you do, 53:19.533 --> 53:21.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% we hope that you share your story, 53:21.766 --> 53:24.033 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% and have a conversation about race. 53:24.033 --> 53:26.366 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% We believe that it is through stories 53:26.366 --> 53:28.833 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% that we can begin the process of healing. 53:28.833 --> 53:32.100 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% We close with a poem by Dr. Tolbert Small, 53:32.100 --> 53:34.533 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% former physician to the founding chapter 53:34.533 --> 53:36.300 align:left position:12.5% line:5% size:77.5% of the Black Panther party. 53:36.300 --> 53:39.933 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% - The title of the poem is "We Are the Healers" 53:39.933 --> 53:42.600 align:left position:22.5% line:5% size:67.5% and it is a message for everyone. 53:42.600 --> 53:44.666 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Doctors don't heal in a vacuum, 53:44.666 --> 53:47.366 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% and healing can take many forms. 53:47.366 --> 53:51.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% We are part of a broader community that includes you. 53:51.133 --> 53:54.433 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% We are all interrelated and interdependent. 53:54.433 --> 53:57.266 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% We are all called to heal the wounds. 53:59.966 --> 54:03.433 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% (gentle uplifting music) 54:04.533 --> 54:06.200 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - To the healers. 54:06.200 --> 54:08.500 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - And their patients who have the right to be healed. 54:08.500 --> 54:11.333 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - By Dr. Tolbert Jones Small. 54:11.333 --> 54:13.600 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We are healers. 54:13.600 --> 54:16.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - We toiled for years to learn the mystery 54:16.033 --> 54:17.500 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% of the human body. 54:17.500 --> 54:20.866 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - We nourish spirits from birth to the grave. 54:20.866 --> 54:22.166 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% - We mend the bones. 54:22.166 --> 54:23.833 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% - We sew the cuts. 54:23.833 --> 54:25.333 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We kill the pain. 54:25.333 --> 54:27.700 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We cool the fevers. 54:27.700 --> 54:30.333 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% - We soothe the spirits. 54:30.333 --> 54:32.366 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We are healers. 54:32.366 --> 54:33.766 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% - We bring new life. 54:33.766 --> 54:35.833 align:left position:25% line:89% size:65% - We close old life. 54:35.833 --> 54:37.766 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - [Together] We pick the herbs. 54:37.766 --> 54:39.500 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% - We needle away the pain. 54:39.500 --> 54:41.333 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% - We cut out the cancer. 54:41.333 --> 54:43.033 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We poison the germs. 54:43.033 --> 54:46.066 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - We calm the troubled minds. 54:46.066 --> 54:48.333 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - We are healers. 54:48.333 --> 54:50.033 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - [Together] We treat the whole body. 54:50.033 --> 54:51.833 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - [Together] As one universe. 54:51.833 --> 54:54.933 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% - We treat each part of the universe. 54:54.933 --> 54:57.033 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - We keep the hearts pumping. 54:57.033 --> 54:58.766 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - We keep the lungs breathing. 54:58.766 --> 55:01.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - We know as long as life exists. 55:01.566 --> 55:02.466 align:left position:30% line:89% size:60% - [All] We will. 55:02.466 --> 55:03.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - [All] Be healers. 55:08.233 --> 55:10.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - What brings you joy in medicine? 55:10.466 --> 55:12.066 align:left position:30% line:83% size:60% - What brings me joy in medicine. 55:12.066 --> 55:13.266 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - [Man] Relationships. 55:13.266 --> 55:15.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - Relationships bring me joy in medicine. 55:15.233 --> 55:16.233 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% - Connections. 55:16.233 --> 55:19.233 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - The experience of my patients. 55:19.233 --> 55:21.900 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - Young people finally get it. 55:21.900 --> 55:23.500 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - To have the light bulb go off. 55:23.500 --> 55:24.400 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - Very rewarding. 55:24.400 --> 55:25.966 align:left position:20% line:89% size:70% - I have joy in medicine 55:25.966 --> 55:27.233 align:left position:17.5% line:89% size:72.5% when my patients have joy. 55:27.233 --> 55:29.933 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - They give me hope, they give me courage. 55:29.933 --> 55:32.766 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% I learn so much from their cultures, their values, 55:32.766 --> 55:34.300 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% their knowledge, and their belief. 55:34.300 --> 55:36.800 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - The most joyful part of being a physician. 55:36.800 --> 55:38.833 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - They trust me, and I trust them. 55:38.833 --> 55:40.566 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - Is being in fellowship and partnership 55:40.566 --> 55:41.800 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% with my patients. 55:41.800 --> 55:43.233 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% - The opportunity of working with somebody 55:43.233 --> 55:45.766 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% for 15 years to try to get them to consider 55:45.766 --> 55:47.800 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% stopping smoking, and that day when they say 55:47.800 --> 55:49.600 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% you know, I really need to do this. 55:49.600 --> 55:51.333 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% - What brings me joy in medicine 55:51.333 --> 55:53.800 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% is listening to the stories of patients. 55:53.800 --> 55:55.833 align:left position:20% line:83% size:70% - I love to sit around, and that's probably why 55:55.833 --> 55:57.433 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% I can be late in clinics sometimes, 55:57.433 --> 55:59.400 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% since I love to hear people's stories. 55:59.400 --> 56:03.800 align:left position:17.5% line:83% size:72.5% - I feel very privileged to share that sacred space 56:03.800 --> 56:05.300 align:left position:27.5% line:89% size:62.5% with our patients. 56:05.300 --> 56:07.133 align:left position:15% line:83% size:75% - One word that brings me joy in medicine is learning. 56:07.133 --> 56:08.466 align:left position:10% line:89% size:80% Actually learning about people, 56:08.466 --> 56:09.800 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and learning about their stories, 56:09.800 --> 56:11.566 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% and learning about what makes them work, 56:11.566 --> 56:13.833 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% and what makes them who they are. 56:13.833 --> 56:15.966 align:left position:12.5% line:89% size:77.5% - To be able to apply science, 56:15.966 --> 56:19.566 align:left position:12.5% line:83% size:77.5% but in a way that genuinely helps someone feel better 56:19.566 --> 56:20.833 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% and have a better day. 56:20.833 --> 56:23.733 align:left position:20% line:5% size:70% - The opportunity of the future, what isn't yet, 56:23.733 --> 56:26.466 align:left position:25% line:83% size:65% how we deploy our insatiable curiosity 56:26.466 --> 56:29.466 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% about what if, and what can be in terms of next, 56:29.466 --> 56:31.966 align:left position:22.5% line:83% size:67.5% opportunity for change for the better. 56:31.966 --> 56:35.233 align:left position:25% line:5% size:65% - This is excellent. - Brilliant. 56:35.233 --> 56:36.866 align:left position:22.5% line:89% size:67.5% - [David] Oh, good. 56:36.866 --> 56:38.066 align:left position:27.5% line:83% size:62.5% - Yes, good stuff. - You're happy? 56:38.066 --> 56:39.666 align:left position:32.5% line:89% size:57.5% (bright music)