WEBVTT

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(bright music)

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- 50 years ago, my
parents left India.

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They took with them
their combined histories,

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cultures, food, and fears.

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My father, Ramaiah, was
the first in his family

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to leave the small
farming village

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where my parents grew up.

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My mother, Vimala, was 17
years old when she left home.

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And eventually they
moved to Michigan

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where my brother
and I were born.

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I was born early.

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And so I had to stay in a
neonatal ICU for several weeks

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after I was born.

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Because my arrival was
unexpectedly abrupt,

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my parents had not yet
chosen a name for me.

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So the nurses called
me Baby Boy Muthyala.

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My parents wanted my
grandmother to help

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choose a name for me,
but the phone connection

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to her small village was poor,

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and so we couldn't hear
from her for days and weeks,

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and this went on and on.

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And the NICU was about a 30
minute drive from our home,

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so everyday my dad
would pile everybody

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into the car, drive
to the hospital,

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drop my mom off.

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He would take my older
brother to school

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before going to work himself.

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And then after work, he
would pick my brother up,

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and they would go
to the hospital,

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we would all spend
time together,

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and my family would return home,

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only to just do it
again the next day.

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During this time, my brother,
who was very outgoing,

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made friends with
the neonatologist.

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And they would actually
go on rounds together.

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And one day, the neonatologist
asked my brother,

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does your little
brother have a name yet?

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And in classic
fashion, he said yes.

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His name is Brian.

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And so the next day,
when my parents returned

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to the hospital,
written above my crib

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was the name Brian Muthyala.

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To this day, no one knows
how he came up with it.

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And my parents, as
you could imagine,

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were a little surprised.

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But in our traditions,
it is considered bad luck

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to take a name away from
a child once it's given.

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So eventually, I got old enough,

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and I was sent home to
join my family a Brian,

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living with Ramaiah,
Vimala, and Sharat.

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As the son of immigrant parents,

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I often felt torn between
cultures, values, and beliefs.

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Brian could play
soccer, go to the mall,

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play video games, whereas
Kirti, my middle name,

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was a dutiful son, and
who knew just how to act

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with the aunties
and uncles who lived

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in our small Indian community.

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As a teenager, I was
grateful that my brother

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gave me a name that
allowed me to blend in.

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Strangers would see my
brown skin, my last name,

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but my otherness was
often less visible

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because Brian felt so familiar.

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Today, as a doctor,
I watch my patients

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stare wide-eyed at my ID badge
after I introduce myself,

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trying to enunciate Moothealla?

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And I quickly interrupt
them, and I say

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you can just call me Dr. Brian.

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And I often will see the
relief wash over their face

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as we share a quick
smile together.

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I have often reflected on
how my life has been simpler

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because of the mysterious
split second decision

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of a six-year-old brother.

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But more recently, these
thoughts have made me uneasy.

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Names are important.

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And while my name
made introductions
comfortable for others,

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it also put me further
away from the rich history

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and traditions that my parents
worked so hard to maintain

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in our family.

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So when it came time
to name our children,

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my wife and I intentionally
chose traditional Indian names,

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realizing that they will not
have some of the benefits

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that I had.

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And at times I fear for my
two young beautiful kids.

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How will I teach them
to not be afraid,

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shy, or embarrassed of
the richness of those

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that came before them?

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I hope I'm as
courageous as my parents

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who braved an unknown
world to make a better life

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for me and Sharat.

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I hope I can be the
parent, son, partner,

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doctor, friend, and neighbor,

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and live up to the
name I was given

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all those years ago.