>>> LOOKING BACK ON YARNELL, A

WILDFIRE THAT CLAIMED THE LIVES

OF 19 MEN.

>> IT WAS DECISION AFTER

DECISION THAT WAS MADE OR NOT

MADE THAT ULTIMATELY LED TO THIS

CREW BEING ALONE ON A MOUNTAIN.

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE'RE

HEARING FROM THE 20th MAN ON THE

CREW.

>> I NEEDED TO TELL MY BROTHER'S

STORY AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD

TELL THAT IS IF I OPENED UP LIFE

AFTER THE YARNELL HILL FIRE.

THIS IS "ARIZONA WEEK."

>>> THREE YEARS AGO, LIGHTNING

SPARKED ONE OF THE DEADLIEST

WILDFIRES IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

FLAMES BURNED FOR MORE THAN TEN

DAYS AND IN THE END CLAIMED THE

LIVES OF 19 MEN.

BUT 20 MEN WERE PART OF THE

GRANITE MOUNTAIN HOT SHOT CREW.

ON THAT DAY BRENDAN McDONOUGH

SERVED AS LOOKOUT.

THREE YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDY

HE'S WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT HOW

BEING A HOT SHOT CHANGED HIS

LIFE.

WHAT DOES BEING A HOT SHOT MEAN

TO YOU, WHAT DID IT MEAN FOR

YOU?

>> AT FIRST WHAT IT MEANT WAS A

PAYCHECK.

AND A WAY TO SUPPORT MY

DAUGHTER.

AND THAT'S WHAT I WAS FIGHTING

FOR.

THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO DO, YOU

KNOW.

I KIND OF DIVED INTO PRETTY DARK

PLACES WITH MY DAUGHTER AND

WHERE I NEEDED TO BE.

AND -- AS I LEARNED ABOUT

FIREFIGHT, AS I LEARNED ABOUT

THESE GUYS AND WHO THEY WERE AND

WHAT THEY STOOD FOR, NOT ONLY ON

THE LINE BUT AT HOME, IT WAS

MORE THE WEREHOOD, IT WAS MORE

THAN JUST GETTING A PAYCHECK.

IT WAS MORE THAN SUPPORTING MY

DAUGHTER.

BECOMING A BETTER FATHER, NOT

ONLY LEARNING LESSONS THAT I'D

HAVE JUST IN, BUT LESSONS I'LL

CARRY WITH ME THE REST OF MY

LIFE.

>> TELL ME ABOUT THAT ADRENALINE

YOU WOULD FEEL WHEN YOU GET

CALLED TO A FIRE.

WHAT WAS YOUR SAYING AS YOU

ROLLED OUT OF THE PARKING LOT?

>> I'D JUST BE SO EXCITED.

I'D BE YELLING AND HOOTING AND

HOLLERING.

JUST LIKE SHAKING GUYS' CHAIRS

AND STUFF.

YOU KNOW, JUST FULL OF

EXCITEMENT.

THAT I WAS ABLE TO DO SOMETHING

THAT WAS PROVIDING FOR MY

DAUGHTER.

>> IN THE BOOK YOU SAY THAT LOT

OF IT IS FINANCIAL, IT WAS FOR

MICHAELA.

THEN THERE'S THAT MOMENT WHERE

YOU'RE SITTING DOWN TO CHOW, YOU

CAN SEE THOSE FAMILIES, YOU

REALIZE, THEY JUST LOST THEIR

HOME.

THAT'S WHEN IT HIT IT FOR YOU,

THAT YOU SAID, I'M DOING THIS TO

SAVE SOMEONE'S PROPERTY, THEIR

LIVELIHOOD, THEIR MEMORIES.

>> YEAH, YOU TRULY CAN'T --

THERE'S SOME THINGS IN LIFE YOU

CAN'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU'VE

BEEN THROUGH THEM AND WITNESSED

THEM.

THAT WAS MY FIRST EXPERIENCE

DOWN ON THE MONUMENT FIRE OF

WHAT WE WERE DOING AND WHY WE

WERE DOING IT.

AND WHY I WAS WITH WHO I WAS.

IT JUST HIT ME.

WHEN I SAW THEIR FACES.

AND KNOWING THAT IT'S NOT --

IT'S NOT THE HOME, IT'S NOT THE

STRUCTURE, THE HOME, THAT THEY

MISS.

IT'S THE THINGS THAT ARE INSIDE.

THE MEMORIES.

THE FAMILY.

THE BARBECUES THEY HAD.

IT'S THE CHRISTMAS DINNERS.

THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT I

SOMETIMES DIDN'T HAVE THAT WERE

THE BEST.

BUT I DO REMEMBER THE GOOD ONES.

I REMEMBER THE ONES WITH MY

MOTHER AND MY BROTHER.

I REMEMBER THOSE ONES.

AND THEY STUCK IN MY HEAD.

AND I WANTED TO DO EVERYTHING I

COULD TO CONTINUE TO LET PEOPLE

HAVE THAT.

IT'S NOT THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW.

IT'S THE MEMORIES THAT ARE BUILT

IN IT.

AND THAT'S WHAT I FOUGHT SO HARD

FOR.

THAT'S WHAT WE ALL FIGHT SO HARD

FOR.

>> IN THE BOOK YOU TALK ABOUT

THE HORSESHOE TWO FIRE, HOW IT

WAS A DIFFERENT KIND OF FIRE

THAN YOU HAD SEEN BEFORE.

DID THAT PREPARE YOU FOR WHAT

YARNELL TURNED OUT TO BE?

>> LOOKING BACK, I THINK EVERY

FIRE I WAS ON KIND OF PREPARED

ME WITHIN MY TWO AND A HALF

YEARS BEING A HOT SHOT, I SAW A

LOT OF FIRES THAT WERE VERY --

VERY POWERFUL.

A LOT OF THEM WERE THE BIGGEST

FIRES THAT SOME OF THE STATE WET

WERE IN HAD SEEN.

AND THEY'VE CONTINUED TO GROW.

I FEEL LIKE WITHIN THE LAST FIVE

YEARS, THE FIRE SEASON'S JUST

CONTINUED TO BUILD AND BUILD AND

COMPOUND ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

>> BRENDAN WAS 19 YEARS OLD WHEN

HE JOINED THE GRANITE MOUNTAIN

HOT SHOTS.

AS A CREW THEY TRAVELED ALL OVER

ARIZONA AND THE SOUTHWEST.

THEN THE WEEK OF JUNE 30th.

A CALL TO FIGHT FLAMES RIGHT

OUTSIDE THEIR HOMETOWN OF

PRESCOTT IN A SLEEPY TOWN OF

YARNELL.

TELL ME ABOUT JUNE 30th.

YOU THINK IT'S SORT OF RUN OF

THE MILL.

YOU'RE GOING TO GO FIGHT ANOTHER

FIRE.

WHAT WAS SO DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS

ONE?

>> JUNE 30th -- UNTIL MY

BROTHERS DIED, THERE'S NOTHING

DIFFERENT ABOUT IT.

IT WAS LIKE ANY OTHER DAY OF

FIREFIGHTING.

YOU KNOW, EXPECTING TO BE THERE

FOR TWO WEEKS OR EXPECTING TO BE

HOME THE NEXT DAY OR, YOU KNOW,

JUST -- ENDLESS QUESTIONS AND

CONTINUING TO TRY AND FIND THOSE

ANSWERS.

IT'S JUST -- I THINK -- THE

MARINE CORPS SAYS THAT, YOU

KNOW, REMAIN FLEXIBLE.

I THINK THAT STICKS WITH WILD

LAND FIREFIGHTS AS WELL.

REMAIN FLEXIBLE BECAUSE THE PLAN

CAN ALWAYS CHANGE.

GOING INTO THAT DAY THAT MORNING

IT WAS LIKE ANY OTHER DAY ON A

FIRE.

GO IN, GET A BRIEFING, FIND A

PIECE OF LINE TO DIG INTO, GET A

LOOKOUT, GET A SAFETY ZONE,

ESTABLISH LC, GET THOSE THINGS

GOING.

AND PUT IT OUT.

WHETHER IT TOOK ONE DAY, FIVE

DAYS, TWO WEEKS.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU'RE HOME

FOR TWO DAYS AND YOU COME BACK

AND FIGHT THE SAME EXACT FIRE.

SO THAT WAS KIND OF MINDSET IN

THE MORNING.

JUST READY TO DO THE JOB,

WHATEVER IT HAD.

>> AS YOU WATCHED THE FLAMES AND

YOU WERE THE LOOKOUT THAT DAY,

NOTHING LOOKED OUT OF THE

ORDINARY TO YOU?

>> NO, NOT UNTIL THE WEATHER

STARTED TO SHIFT.

WHAT IS SO HARD I THINK FOR

PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND IS THE

VANTAGE POINT THAT MY BROTHERS

DID HAVE.

YOU KNOW, ALMOST 100% SIMILAR

VIEW OF WHAT I WAS SEEING IS

WHAT THEY'RE SEEING.

JUST FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE.

AND SO -- IT WAS JUST ONE OF

THOSE DAYS -- THAT AS IT

UNFOLDED, THINGS CONTINUED TO

FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS.

COULD HAVE BEEN DONE, COULD HAVE

SHOULD HAVE WOULD HAVE TO DEATH.

BUT THAT'S JUST I GUESS THE

NATURE OF THE JOB.

LEARNING HOW TO ADAPT WITH

DIFFERENT CHANGES.

>> THERE'S A LOT OF QUESTION

ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY

WHAT WENT WRONG.

FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE, HOW DID

THIS HAPPEN?

>> I THINK IT WASN'T ONE

DECISION.

I THINK IT WAS A MULTIPLETUDE OF

DIFFERENT THINGS THAT DIDN'T GET

PUT IN PLACE.

OR WASN'T EXECUTED TO 100%.

AND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,

THERE'S NOTHING THAT WE CAN DO

100% IN.

WE CAN'T BE PERFECT IN ANYTHING

THAT WE DO IN LIFE.

THERE'S NOT ONE THING THAT

SOMEONE COULD SIT THERE AND SAY,

I'M PERFECT IN THIS.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

SO WE HAVE ALL THESE OTHER

BACKUP PLANS OR RESOURCES THAT

WE USE TO TRY AND MAKE IT THE

BEST SITUATION POSSIBLE TO DEAL

WITH WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH.

I MEAN, WE ARE FIGHTING A

NATURAL DISASTER.

YOU DON'T SEND SOMEONE TO GO

CORRAL A TORNADO.

WE DON'T HAVE A WAY TO DO THAT.

YOU WAIT TILL THE AFTERMATH AND

YOU COME IN AND GIVE HELP AND

TRY AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN.

FOR US, YOU KNOW, WE'RE FIGHTING

THESE FIRES THAT ARE

TREMENDOUSLY HUGE WITH A SMALL

AMOUNT OF RESOURCES.

>> IN THE BOOK YOU DESCRIBE

THERE WAS A LOT OF BACK AND

FORTH.

IT SOUNDS LIKE CHAOS TO ME.

AT WHAT POINT DID YOU REALIZE

THAT THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT, THAT

SOMETHING HAD GONE TERRIBLY

WRONG?

>> FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE -- I CAN

UNDERSTAND WHERE IT CAN SEEM

LIKE CHAOS, BUT FOR US, I MEAN,

THAT'S JUST WHAT WE LIVE IN.

YOU KNOW -- AND SOME

FIREFIGHTERS WILL HAVE A

DIFFERENT DEFINITION OF CHAOS

AND IT'S NOT THE SAME ACROSS THE

BOARD.

THERE WAS WORSE MOMENTS THAT

DAY, PRETTY CHAOTIC.

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRAINED TO BE

IN, THAT'S WHY WE TRAIN SO HARD,

THAT'S WHY WE PRACTICE, THAT'S

WHY WE HAVE SUCH A HIGH LEVEL OF

PHYSICAL FITNESS.

WE'RE TRAINED TO BE IN THOSE

MOMENTS.

IT'S NOT ONLY OUR BODY WE'RE

TRAINING, MENTALLY WE'RE

PREPARING TO MAKE THE CORRECT

DECISIONS IN THE CORRECT AMOUNT

OF TIME.

SO -- GETTING BACK TO YOUR

QUESTION, I DIDN'T FEEL AS IF

THEY WERE IN DANGER UNTIL I

HEARD THEM -- MY SUPERINTENDENT

TALK ABOUT DEPLOYING THE FIRE

SHELTERS.

THAT'S WHEN I KNEW THEY WERE IN

DANGER.

UP UNTIL THEN, I SUSPECTED I'D

SEEN THEM COME ON THE ROAD,

FIVE, TEN MINUTES.

THAT WAS THE MINDFRAME THAT I

HAD AT THAT POINT.

WAS THERE A FIRE BURNING THROUGH

TOWN?

YES.

WAS THERE HELICOPTERS FLYING

OVER?

THERE WAS.

BUT THAT'S A LOT OF FIRES.

PEOPLE ARE COMING OUT OF

NEIGHBORHOODS.

OH, WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING HERE,

SO WE PULL OUT.

REASSESS.

TRY ANOTHER PLAN.

THAT DOESN'T WORK, PULL OUT,

REASSESS.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE NATURE OF

THE JOB IS JUST CONTINUE TO TRY

UNTIL YOU CAN'T TRY ANY MORE,

UNTIL YOU WIN.

>> WHEN YOU HEARD THEY WERE

DEPLOYING FIRE SHELTERS WHAT

DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU?

YOU'D BEEN TRAINED TO DEPLOY

THEM AS WELL.

>> IT'S YOUR LAST EFFORT TO

COMBATING THE FIRE OVERCOMING

YOU.

IT'S A PLACE YOU DON'T WANT TO

BE IN.

IT'S A MOMENT OBVIOUSLY NO ONE

WOULD EVER EMBRACE.

AND IT'S -- SOMETHING YOU HOPE

YOU TRAINED FOR AND YOU TOOK

SERIOUS.

WHEN THEY WERE FOUND, IT WASN'T

LIKE THERE WASN'T A FIRE STILL

RAGING.

>> CHRIS WAS YOUR ROOMMATE AT

THE TIME.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT WAS THAT LIKE GOING HOME

AND HE'S NOT THERE?

>> OH, WOW.

I -- I DON'T EVEN THINK I WENT

HOME FOR THE FIRST TWO WEEKS, TO

BE HONEST.

I DON'T EVEN THINK I WAS THERE.

IT TOOK -- IT TOOK A LONG TIME

TO BE ABLE TO GO INTO THE

APARTMENT.

IT WAS EMOTIONAL.

IT WAS TOUGH.

NOT ONLY WAS THE PERSON WHO

SLEPT SIX FEET AWAY FROM ME

GONE, BUT EVERY OTHER PERSON

THROUGHOUT THE SUMMERS THAT I

SLEPT TWO FEET AWAY FROM WAS

GONE TOO.

>> MORE FROM BRENDAN IN A FEW

MOMENTS.

BUT NOW FOR THE "NEW YORK TIMES"

PHOENIX BUREAU CHIEF.

SHE ALSO WROTE A BOOK.

AS A JOURNALIST SHE SAYS THE

YARNELL HILL FIRE WAS A STORY

SHE COULDN'T LET GO OF.

>> AS I WAS WRITING STORIES

ABOUT THIS FIRE, I KEPT FINDING

MYSELF HAVING MORE QUESTIONS

THAN ANSWERS.

QUESTIONS AS SIMPLE AS, HOW DO

WILDFIRES BURN?

WHAT'S UP WITH WEATHER?

WHAT ARE MONSOON STORMS?

I HADN'T BEEN IN ARIZONA VERY

LONG SO I DIDN'T QUITE

UNDERSTAND EVEN HOW THE WEATHER

THIS TIME OF THE YEAR WORKED.

AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, GIVEN

THAT THERE IS A CERTAIN -- A

SHORT LIFE SPAN TO BIG NEWS

STORIES WITH NEWSPAPERS, THERE

WAS LIMITED INTEREST FROM MY

EDITORS.

AND THAT CURIOSITY LINGERED.

MANY TIMES THAT CURIOSITY KIND

OF WANED.

YOU MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE,

YOU BECOME CURIOUS ABOUT

SOMETHING ELSE.

BUT I REMAINED CURIOUS ABOUT

THIS STORY, ABOUT THE LIVES OF

THESE MEN.

SO, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT THE

BEST WAY TO SOLVE -- TO SATISFY

MY CURIOSITY WOULD BE TO WRITE A

BOOK.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE

MOST FASCINATING THING YOU

LEARNED DURING THIS PROCESS?

>> IT WAS REALLY A REDEFINITION

OF THE WORD GUILT OR BLAME.

THERE WAS A LOT OF FOCUS ON THAT

WHEN THE FIRE HAPPENED.

WHO MADE THE ORDER -- WHO GAVE

THE ORDER FOR THIS CREW TO GO

DOWN THE MOUNTAIN?

ESSENTIALLY, WHO WAS TO BLAME

FOR THEIR DEATHS?

AND BLAME HAS A VERY SHIFTY

MEANING IN THIS STORY BECAUSE IT

DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN

SOMETHING BAD.

YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY WHAT

HAPPENED WAS HORRIBLE.

BUT IT MEANS MAKING DECISIONS

THAT CARRY A LOT OF RISK, BUT

THEY WERE NOT NECESSARILY MADE

WITH THE INTENT OF CAUSING HARM.

AND THEN ONCE I ACCEPTED THAT,

IT WAS ALMOST AS IF I WAS

LIBERATED TO REALLY PURSUE THIS

STORY AS I THOUGHT IT SHOULD BE

PURSUED, WHICH WAS MORE THE

HUMAN SIDE OF THIS FIRE.

>> IN ALL YOUR RESEARCH, HOW DID

THIS HAPPEN?

WHAT DECISION WAS MADE, WHAT LED

TO THIS?

>> IT'S NOT A SIMPLE ANSWER.

BECAUSE THERE WAS NOT ONE THEN

OR ONE DECISION THAT I CAN POINT

TO DO SAY, THIS IS WHAT CAUSED

THE DEATHS OF THESE 19 MEN.

IT WAS DECISION AFTER DECISION

THAT WAS MADE OR NOT MADE THAT

ULTIMATELY LED TO THIS CREW

BEING ALONE ON A MOUNTAIN AND

HAVING TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE

DECISION ALL BY ITSELF.

AND HAVING NO ONE TO BE THERE

BALANCED, TO CHECK.

NO ONE TO SAY, IS THIS REALLY

THE BEST THING TO DO AT THIS

MOMENT?

SO THERE'S NO ONE THING THAT YOU

CAN BLAME.

IT'S SYSTEMIC.

THERE'S SYSTEMIC FLAWS, THERE'S

HUMAN FACTORS.

A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS THAT

LED TO WHAT HAPPENED.

>> YOU REACHED OUT TO EACH ONE

OF THE 19 FAMILIES?

>> I DID.

I REALLY WANTED TO MEET THESE

GUYS.

I WROTE A FRONT-PAGE PROFILE OF

THE CREW AND THE MAN THAT RAN

THE -- THE FATALITIES HAPPENED

ON JUNE 30th, 2013.

THAT STORY RAN ON THE FRONT PAGE

OF THE NEW YORK TIMES ON JULY

2nd.

AND I WROTE IT ON JULY 1st AS I

WAS REPORTING.

AND I REMEMBERED THAT I ONLY

KNEW THE NAMES OF A FEW OF THE

MEN.

AND IT REALLY BOTHERED ME THAT I

WAS WRITING SO THOR THOR

DATEIVELY ABOUT A GROUP OF MEN I

KNEW VERY LITTLE ABOUT.

ENOUGH FOR A NEWS STORY BUT NOT

ENOUGH FOR AN UNDERSTANDING OF

THEM AS PEOPLE.

AND OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T SIT DOWN

AND TALK TO THEM.

AND THE BEST WAY TO MEET THEM

WAS TO MEET THEIR FAMILIES.

AND I MADE A POINT IN MEETING

EVERY ONE OF THEM.

>> SHE SAYS THE 19 MEN

REPRESENTED THE EPITOME OF

TEAMWORK AND BRAVERY BECAUSE

THEY HAD THE COURAGE TO STAY

TOGETHER UNTIL THE VERY END.

>> YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD FOR A LOT

OF PEOPLE TO THINK OF A BOOK

ABOUT A FIRE WHERE 19 PEOPLE

DIRKSD A BOOK CALLED "THE FIRE

LINE," AND NOT BE CAUGHT UP ON

THE IDEA THAT THIS IS A FIRE

BOOK.

I'D LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS A

UNIVERSAL STORY, A STORY THAT IS

ABOUT 19 MEN WHO LOVED ONE

ANOTHER, LOVED WHAT THEY DID,

AND CHOSE TO STAY TOGETHER UNTIL

THE END.

I OPEN MY BOOK WITH A PICTURE

FROM ONE OF THE INVESTIGATIVE

REPORTS THAT SHOWS THE LOCATION,

THE POSITIONING OF THE BODIES

WHEN THEY WERE FOUND.

AND THESE WERE -- THEY WERE

VERY, VERY CLOSE.

AND THAT WAS THE PICTURE THAT

SHOWED ME THAT THIS WAS A

DIFFERENT STORY.

THIS WAS NOT THE STORY ABOUT A

DECISION, A BAD DECISION, MADE

BY WHOEVER.

IT WAS A STORY ABOUT THE CULTURE

OF LOYALTY THAT THEY FOSTERED,

THAT WHEN IT CAME TIME TO MAKE

A -- AN ULTIMATE DECISION, DO WE

STAY TOGETHER AND TRY TO SURVIVE

THIS WAVE OF FIRE THAT'S COMING

OUR WAY, OR DO WE EACH TRY TO

RUN FOR OUR LIVES?

THEY DIDN'T TAKE A VOTE.

THEY STAYED TOGETHER.

THE LAST RADIO COMMUNICATION

THAT YOU HEAR, YOU HEAR THIS

BUZZING IN THE BACKGROUND.

THEY WERE STILL WORKING TOGETHER

TRYING TO SAVE THEMSELVES AS A

UNIT.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF I HAD EVER

COME ACROSS PEOPLE, OTHER THAN

SOLDIERS, WHO WOULD BE WILLING

TO RISK THEIR LIVES -- OR POLICE

OFFICERS DO THAT TOO -- RISK

THEIR LIVES TO SAVE THEIR

PARTNER.

YOU KNOW, TO ME THAT WAS --

THERE WAS SUCH A POWERFUL

MESSAGE.

AND MY BOOK IS BUILT EXACTLY TO

EXPLAIN THAT.

WHAT IS IT THAT MADE THESE GUYS

STAY TOGETHER?

FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT

YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND WHO

THEY WERE, WHAT THE CREW WAS

ABOUT, WHAT THE JOB WAS ABOUT.

ALL OF IT DEPENDED ON THE IDEA

OF UNITY AND TEAMWORK.

AND SO, YOU KNOW, I LIKE TO SAY

THAT IT'S A BOOK ABOUT PEOPLE

THAT HAPPENS TO HAVE FIRE AS A

SETTING, IT'S NOT A FIRE BOOK.

>> THERE WERE LAWSUITS AND

LITIGATION INVOLVED.

WHERE ARE WE NOW WITH THAT?

IS THAT OVER?

>> IT'S A MUCH LESS CONTENTIOUS

PROCESS.

THE FIRES OF THE LAWSUITS -- THE

LAWSUITS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THE

19 MEMBERS WHO DIED ON JUNE

30th, ONLY SIX WERE FULL-TIME

EMPLOYEES OF THE CITY OF

PRESCOTT.

AND WHAT THAT MEANT WAS THAT IN

LIFE, THE 14 SEASONAL EMPLOYEES

DID NOT HAVE PAID VACATION, PAID

HOLIDAYS, PAID SICK DAYS.

AND IN DEATH, THEY DIDN'T

QUALIFY FOR THE BENEFITS THAT

THE FULL-TIME EMPLOYEES DID.

THE PENSIONS THEY RECEIVED.

THEY WERE PART OF THE ARIZONA

STATE PENSION SYSTEM, THEY WERE

PART OF A STRUCTURAL FIRE

DEPARTMENT, THEY WERE UNION

MEMBERS, SO FORTH.

SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE THOSE TYPES

OF BENEFITS, THESE 14 FAMILIES.

OF THESE 14 FAMILIES, MANY OF

THEM WERE WOMEN WHO HAD CHILDREN

TO RAISE.

THIS IS THE JOB THAT TAKES THE

MAN AWAY FOR LONG PERIODS IN THE

SUMMER SO IT WAS HARD FOR SOME

OF THEM TO EVEN KEEP FULL-TIME

EMPLOYMENT BECAUSE THEY HAD

THEIR KIDS AT HOME, THEY HAD TO

TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE WHILE

THEIR HUSBANDS WERE NOT THERE.

SOME FAMILIES HAVE STARTED

FOUNDATIONS.

OTHER FAMILIES HAVE SORT OF

RETREATED AND TRY TO LIVE THEIR

LIVES AS MUCH AS THEY CAN WITH

AS MUCH NORMALLY AS THEY CAN.

ALWAYS HAVING A HOLE IN THEIR

HEARTS.

AND OTHERS HAVE MET OTHER

PEOPLE, SOME OF THE WIDOWS HAVE

REMARRIED OR HAVE PARTNERS

LIVING WITH THEM.

AT LEAST TWO OF THEM HAVE HAD

CHILDREN FROM THESE

RELATIONSHIPS.

AND SO, YOU KNOW, THEY ARE

CARRYING ON.

WHICH DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY

FORGOT THE PEOPLE WHO DIED, IT

JUST MEANS THAT THEY STILL HAVE

A LOT OF LIFE AHEAD OF THEM AND

THEY NEED TO PLAN FOR THAT.

>> THREE YEARS AFTER THE FIRE,

HOW ARE YOU DESCRIBING THE BEGAN

NET MOUNTAIN HOT SHOT CREW?

>> THEY REALLY APPRECIATED

NATURE.

THEY LOVED THE LAND THAT THEY

WORKED ON.

THEY LOVED ONE ANOTHER.

THEY LOVED THEIR FAMILIES.

THEY LOVED THE JOB THEY DID.

AND THOSE THINGS ARE SO RARE

THESE DAYS.

PEOPLE WHO DO EVERYTHING THEY DO

WITH PASSION.

100% IN.

AND -- MY OPINION OF THEM HAS

NEVER CHANGED.

YOU KNOW, I GOT TO LEARN ABOUT A

LOT ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL LIVES.

I GOT TO BERN ABOUT THE WAY SOME

OF THEM STUMBLED ALONG THEIR

PERSONAL LIVES.

I GOT TO LEARN ABOUT HOW THEY

PICKED THEMSELVES UP AND REBUILT

THEIR LIVES.

AND THEY HAVE NOTHING BUT MY

RESPECT.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A

SCIENTIST OR SOMEONE WHO

DISCOVERS THE CURE TO SOME BIG

DISEASE.

THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE

LIKE THE WORLDWIDE EFFECT ON

THINGS.

YOU CAN BE A VERY SPECIAL

INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR OWN WORLD.

AND THOSE GUYS WERE SPECIAL IN

THEIR OWN WAY TO THE PEOPLE THEY

CARED ABOUT AND THE WORLD THEY

LIVED IN.

AND FOR THAT I'M GRATEFUL

BECAUSE THEY MADE ME UNDERSTAND

THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S THE

ORDINARY PEOPLE SOMETIMES.

THE REGULAR PEOPLE WE SEE ON THE

STREETS THAT YOU FIND THE MOST

AMAZING OF STORIES.

>> BRENDAN SAYS THE LAST THREE

YEARS HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLY

CHALLENGING.

AND NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT HE

DOESN'T REFLECT ON HIS TIME WITH

HIS LOST BROTHERS.

TELL ME, WHAT HAVE THE LAST FEW

YEARS BEEN LIKE FOR YOU?

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THEM?

>> LIVING HELL.

THAT WAS THE BEGINNING.

THEN IT JUST KIND OF -- RECENTLY

I WOULD SAY, RIGHT AROUND THE

TIME OF STARTING TO WRITE THIS

BOOK, IT'S JUST BEEN GRADUALLY

GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.

GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS OF THE

BOOK AND COUNSELING AT THE SAME

TIME WAS PROBABLY THE BEST THING

I COULD HAVE DONE.

BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN ONE TO

WRITE IN A DIARY.

NEVER BEEN ONE TO TALK ABOUT

SOMETHING.

AND SO WHAT IT CAME DOWN TO WAS,

I NEEDED TO TELL MY BROTHERS'

STORY AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD

TELL THAT WAS IF I OPENED UP.

IT WASN'T ABOUT ME OPENING UP,

IT WAS ABOUT ME OPENING UP FOR

THEM.

SO PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO READ

THIS BOOK.

AND THAT'S -- I'M JUST LITERALLY

REALIZING THIS AS WE SIT HERE.

THAT IF IT PROBABLY WASN'T FOR

THE BOOK, I PROBABLY NEVER WOULD

HAVE OPENED AND UP CONTINUED

WITH COUNSELING.

I PROBABLY WOULD NEVER HAVE DUG

AS DEEP AS I DID TO TRY AND PUT

EVERYTHING OUT THERE.

>> HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED SINCE

THEN?

YOU TALK A LOT ABOUT HOW YOU

WERE A DRUG USER, YOU WERE A

FELON.

THE HOT SHOTS SAVED YOUR LIFE.

AND THEN YOU GET BACK INTO THIS

DARK PLACE AGAIN.

HOW DID YOU COME BACK UP FROM

THAT?

>> I THINK -- I CAN ADMIT THAT

IT'S STILL A PROCESS TODAY.

THAT THERE'S NO FINISH LINE.

I THINK IT'S JUST A LIFELONG

MARATHON.

BUT KNOWING WHAT MY BROTHERS

TAUGHT ME AND FIGHTING SO HARD,

I KNEW THERE WAS NO WAY I'D GO

BACK TO DRUGS.

I JUST KNEW THERE'S NO WAY THAT

I WANTED TO BE A PART OF THAT.

THAT THAT'S THE LEGACY THAT I

WANTED TO LEAVE BEHIND, THE

SURVIVOR OVERDOSED ON HEROIN --

THAT WASN'T SOMETHING -- I

DIDN'T WANT MY PARENTS TO HAVE

TO DEAL WITH, MY DAUGHTER, MY

FAMILY, EVEN THE OTHER FAMILIES.

FOR ME TO SURVIVE AND THEN TO GO

DOWN THAT DESTRUCTIVE PATH WOULD

HAVE BEEN A SLAP IN THE FACE.

AND I CAN ADMIT THIS TOO,

THERE'S BEEN SOME THINGS

RECENTLY WITHIN THE LAST THREE

YEARS THAT I'VE DONE THAT I'M

NOT PROUD OF.

YOU KNOW, I'VE FILLED VOIDS WITH

THINGS THAT AREN'T GOING TO --

THAT WEREN'T GOING TO HELP ME

PROGRESS.

AND I CAN ADMIT THAT.

AND NOW GOING THROUGH COUNSELING

I CAN LOOK BACK AND SAY, THOSE

ARE NOT THE THINGS I WANT TO

FILL MY HEART WITH, THESE ARE

THE THINGS I WANT TO FILL MY

HEART WITH, THESE ARE THE THINGS

THAT ARE GOING TO MAKE ME A

BETTER PERSON AND A BETTER

FATHER.

IT MAY NOT BE FIREFIGHTING BUT

THERE'S OTHER WAYS I CAN FEEL

THAT FULFILLMENT OF GIVING BACK.

>> YOU ASKED YOURSELF A LOT

THEN, WHY DID I SURVIVE, WHY NOT

ME?

WHAT HAVE YOU DECIDED WAS THE

ANSWER TO THOSE QUESTIONS?

>> I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER.

I DO HAVE AN ANSWER -- GOD.

IT'S GOD.

THAT'S MY ANSWER.

WHY I SURVIVED -- A DEFINITION

OR MORE INFORMATION -- I CAN'T

EVEN FATHOM OR TRY TO BEGIN TO

TRY AND EXPLAIN THAT.

I JUST KNOW THAT I'M HERE TODAY

AND THAT I HAVE A PURPOSE AND

THAT I NEED TO CONTINUE TO TRY

AND LIVE OUT THAT PURPOSE.

>> YOU'RE TALKING WITH PEOPLE

ABOUT THIS EXPERIENCE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT EVERYONE ELSE

TO GAIN FROM THIS?

>> I THINK WHAT I WANT PEOPLE TO

GAIN FROM WHEN I SPEAK IS JUST

THE ABILITY TO ACCEPT THE FACT

THAT WE'RE GOING TO STRUGGLE

THROUGH THINGS.

AND THAT IT'S OKAY TO REACH OUT

FOR HELP.

WE LOSE SO MANY VETERANS TO

SUICIDE.

WE LOSE SO MANY POLICE UNITS,

FIRE PERSONNEL, TO THIS EPIDEMIC

OF THEM NOT FEELING COMFORTABLE

WITH ASKING FOR HELP.

AND THAT'S THE BIGGEST STEP.

AND I THINK IT'S ALMOST ONE OF

THE EASIEST ONES.

IS JUST TO ASK FOR HELP AND THE

REST WILL COME.

AND THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SPEAK

ABOUT.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO TELL

PEOPLE.

AND SHARE.

BECAUSE -- THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH

I CAN SAY WITHOUT GOING, NO.

THERE'S ONLY SO MANY ANSWERS

THAT I DON'T HAVE AND A LOT OF

US DON'T HAVE.

BUT WHAT I DO KNOW WHAT IS I'VE

BEEN THROUGH AND WHAT'S HELPED

ME GET HERE TODAY.

>> WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO WRITE

"MY LOST BROTHERS"?

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T SOMEBODY

WHO WROTE IN A DIARY OR THOUGHT

ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING.

WHY DID YOU DO IT?

>> I WROTE IT -- BECAUSE IT'S AN

OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THEIR

LEGACY.

AND TALKING WITH MY MOM, SHE HAD

SEEN WHAT HAD BEEN PORTRAYED TO

THE MEDIA AND WHAT HAD KIND OF

UNFOLDED.

AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE THEY EVER

GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRULY

LEARN HOW THEY SAVED MY LIFE.

I DON'T THINK THAT WAS DOVE INTO

ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE SATISFIED,

YOU KNOW.

FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK

AND SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL

LIKE PEOPLE KNOW.

HOW DEEP I WAS, IN SUCH A DARK

PLACE, AND WHERE THEY PULLED ME

OUT OF.

I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I WAS ABLE TO

EXPRESS THAT.

KNEW IF I TOOK THE TIME TO WRITE

THIS BOOK THAT I COULD DO THAT.

I COULD EXPRESS TO PEOPLE, I

COULD SHOW THEM ALL MY

VULNERABILITIES.

I DON'T LIKE TALKING ABOUT BEING

A DRUG ADDICT.

THOSE AREN'T THINGS I'M PROUD

OF, THOSE AREN'T DECISIONS I'M

HAPPY ABOUT, THOSE THINGS TURN

MY STOMACH.

BUT IF IT MEANS SHEDDING LIGHT

TO THOSE THINGS AND FOR PEOPLE

TO UNDERSTAND HOW FAR MY

BROTHERS WENT FOR ME -- THEN

IT'S ALL WORTH IT.

>> WHAT IS NEXT FOR BRENDAN

McDONOUGH?

>> WHAT IS NEXT FOR ME?

I THINK JUST LIVING A LIFE THAT

HONORS THEM.

THAT'S DEFINITELY A LIFE WORTH

LIVING.

AND BEING A DAD AND TRYING TO

JUST BE AN ADVOCATE FOR PEOPLE

THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO KNOW AND

BE WILLING TO ACCEPT HELP.

I SEE TOO MANY GREAT MEN AND

WOMEN LOSE THEMSELVES TO SUICIDE

AND THEIR FAMILIES AND I WANT TO

BE A BETTER PART OF FIXING THAT.

I MEAN, THEY'VE GIVEN SO MUCH

FOR OUR COUNTRY.

WITHOUT THEM WE WOULDN'T HAVE

THESE OPPORTUNITIES TO BE

SITTING HERE.

I WOULDN'T HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY

TO WRITE A BOOK.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN ANOTHER

COUNTRY, YOU DON'T HAVE THE

OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT.

IT'S THEIR SACRIFICES.

THEY THOUGHT WE WERE WORTH IT.

I WANT TO BE WORTH IT.

I WANT TO BE WORTH ALL THEIR

SACRIFICES.

I WANT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO

FEEL LIKE, THE MEN AND WOMEN

THAT HAVE DIED, THEY CAN LOOK AT

US AND THEY CAN SIT THERE AND

SAY, THEY'RE WORTH IT.

>> BRENDAN AND FERNANDEZ SAY

THEIR BOOKS WERE NOT ABOUT THE

YARNELL HILL FIRE BUT RATHER

ABOUT THE LEGACY AND THE LIVES

OF THE 19 MEN.

FOR ALL OF US AT ARIZONA PUBLIC