>> SO I'’M STANDING IN LINE AT WHERE I WORK, AND I SEE ONE OF THE DONUT SHOP BY THE CLINIC WHERE I WORK, AND I SEE ONE OF MY REGULAR PATIENTS COMING IN THE DOOR BEHIND ME.
I LOOK AROUND, BUT THERE IS NO OTHER EXIT.
THEY'VE ALREADY SEEN ME.
THERE'’S NO WAY OUT.
"WOW, DOC," MY PATIENT SAYS.
"HAVING A DONUT?
I THOUGHT THOSE ARE BAD FOR YOU."
IT'S A WEIRD THING, BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO ACT HEALTHIER THAN I REALLY AM.
IT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE.
THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS GO THERE UNDERCOVER.
I'M NOT WEARING SCRUBS OR A STETHOSCOPE AROUND MY NECK.
NOBODY WOULD KNOW, UNLESS THEY ALREADY KNOW.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
"WELL, YES, I'M ACTUALLY DOING SOME NUTRITIONAL RESEARCH FOR THEY NEEDED SOME SAMPLES."
REALLY, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO ORDER.
COULD BE A HEALTHY BRAN MUFFIN.
I NEVER GO BACK TO THE OFFICE WITH JELLY ON MY FACE.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT BUYING CRACK COCAINE, IT'S JUST DONUTS.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 75 MILES TO KRUSTY'S DONUT SHOP IN MANKATO UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS JUST TO BUY DONUTS.
ALTHOUGH KRUSTY'S DONUTS ARE AMAZING.
I EVEN WALKED TO THE DONUT PLACE, AND THEN I'M WALKING BACK AFTERWARDS.
SO BASICALLY I'M BREAKING EVEN.
INSTEAD, I SAY, "YEAH, WE'RE CELEBRATING AT THE OFFICE.
IT'’S, UM, NATIONAL HEMOMATOCLINOSUS AWARENESS DAY."
GREAT, SO NOW I'D HAVE TO BUY A DOZEN.
NOW, BECAUSE I DON'’T WANT TO LOOK BAD, I END UP LOOKING MUCH WORSE.
"OF COURSE," I TELL HIM, "THEY'RE NOT FOR ME.
NO, I USUALLY JUST HAVE FIBER CEREAL AND SOME KALE."
FINALLY I GET TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE, AND THE GUY BEHIND THE COUNTER SAYS, "HI, DOC.
THE USUAL?"
"ME?"
I SAY IN A LOUD VOICE.
"UM, YEAH.
THE USUAL FOR ME.
JUST ONE PLAIN BLACK COFFEE."
THEN MY PATIENT LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS, "WOW, DOC, ISN'T COFFEE SUPPOSED TO BE BAD FOR YOU?"